


in the streets

by Wetukachonce28



Category: Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Anxiety Attacks, Boys Kissing, Christmas, Cute, Falling In Love, First Kiss, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Halloween, Halloween Costumes, Love, Love Confessions, M/M, Morning Cuddles, Mutual Pining, New Year's Eve, New Year's Kiss, Pining, Sleepy Cuddles
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-29
Updated: 2020-12-29
Packaged: 2021-03-10 19:22:38
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 27
Words: 28,907
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28402398
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Wetukachonce28/pseuds/Wetukachonce28
Summary: "No, just thought it'd be fun.""It'd be fun to roam in the streets in the middle of the night?" Sykkuno raises his eyebrow."Just- just trust me?"•Or,The one where corpse and sykkuno meet and their friendship blooms into something special.college au; both of them are 20 years old lolyes, they play games of course
Relationships: Corpse Husband & Sykkuno (Video Blogging RPF)
Comments: 44
Kudos: 28





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> _**hi! hope you like the first chapter!** _
> 
> **_comments and kudos are appreciated :)_ **
> 
> **_I have this story posted on Wattpad too, so if you wanna check it out over there, here's the[link](https://my.w.tt/RYhBrZoCBcb)_ **
> 
> **_whole lotta love xx r_ **

"You're not listening, Sykkuno!" Rae yells.

Sykkuno snaps out of his daze and looks to his right so see Rae fuming since he zoned out on more than half of her story.

"I'm sorry, I'm a little bit distracted." He rubs his hands on his face and then fixes his fringe.

Toast chuckles from besides him.

"What's so funny, Toast?"

"Nothing. Sykkuno had just been super anxious about his first day back in college."

Sykkuno huffs while Rae responds, "it's your sophomore year, syk, you'll do just fine."

~

"You guys do know that they serve cardboard as pizza, right?" Toast says as the three friends make their way towards the cafeteria. "Or have you forgotten stuff from last year?"

"Ugh, he's right. Should we go off campus to get pizza then?" Rae asks. Sykkuno just shrugs and they all agree on going off campus.

They order two pizzas and decide to share amongst each other. Rae and Toast are chatting while Sykkuno hears the bell of the door go off and a tall figure enters the pizzeria. The guy is wearing a mask and has disheveled long hair which is why he can't make out his face. He goes towards the reception and orders something without taking off the mask. He appears to be fiddling with the rings on his hand – probably a nervous habit. Sykkuno is immensely amused by whoever this person is.

As if on cue, he turns around but freezes, his body language way too rigid when he realises that there are no available seats. Sykkuno almost flinches when Rae suddenly shouts.

"Hey there! You can sit here if you want to!" Rae points towards the seat across from Sykkuno.

The stranger brings his hand up to rub the back of his neck as if thinking this situation over. He finally gives in and walks towards them nervously. He removes his mask and sits down. Sykkuno's breath audibly hitches and he coughs to cover it.

"Uh, um, thank you. That was really nice of you." He says, fiddling with his rings again.

Rae beams at him. If anyone is surprised by the depth of his voice, no one days anything. "What's your name?"

"Oh, I'm sorry. Uh, it's Corpse." He looks up while answering.

"Hi Corpse, I'm Rae." She introduces herself, like the ever polite friend.

"Hey man, I'm Toast."

There's a small smile on Corpse's face and Sykkuno decides that he likes it. Suddenly Corpse is looking at him with big brown eyes and plump lips. He had to introduce himself.

"Uh, I'm Sykkuno." He does a small wave and then blushes when he realises how dumb he looks.

"Hi, Sykkuno."

Something about Corpse saying hi specifically to him makes him smile and blush. As soon as they all get their pizzas, they start eating, sharing among them themselves. Corpse even agrees to try out the pineapple pizza the next time he's here.

Throughout the whole time, Sykkuno learns a lot about Corpse. He has just transferred to this college, which explains why Sykkuno has never seen him before. He's a psychology major and his favourite colour is black just like his whole get up. Sykkuno learns that he also made his own mask and painted little doodles on it.

"So do you play games, Corpse?" Toast asks.

"Yeah, I love playing games." Corpse answers with a little smile.

Sykkuno loves that Corpse had become comfortable with talking to them even though he hasn't said much himself during the whole conversation.

"Oh! What do you play?" Rae asks almost jumping in her own seat.

"A bit of Among Us, Valorant, Minecraft. Stuff like that." He shrugged and bites into his slice of pizza.

"Oh my god! That's awesome!" Rae yells. "Would you want to play with us? I promise we're a fun bunch."

"Oh." His checks flush.

"Don't worry, mate. We're good people and considering you just moved here you must not have many friends." Toast says.

"Uh, yeah that's true. Sure I'll play with you guys." Corpse smiles.

Sykkuno should really stop staring, it's getting weird. He should also speak something.

"Yeah, yeah. It's very fun." He stutters out.

Corpse's eyes snap to Sykkuno. He blinks a few times. "I'm hoping it is." He says and shoves the pizza slice in his mouth to hide his smirk.

Sykkuno's breath hitches again.


	2. Chapter 2

"Okay! Everyone introduce themselves! I'm Toast."

"Hi! I'm pokimane, but you can call me Poki."

"Hi! I'm PewDiePie." Followed by a laugh.

"Hi sisters, it's James Charles!"

"Jack."

"Hi bitches, it's thee motherfucking Bretman Rooooock." Everyone laughs knowing that Bretman is doing his little dance at home.

"I'm Rae!"

"Hello, I'm Ryan."

"Uh, hi. I'm Sykkuno."

"Oh, um, I'm Corpse."

Everyone says a collective 'hi Corpse' and welcomes him to the group. Corpse is shy at first but eventually warms up to everyone. The game starts and everyone is having fun.

"Okay, so where is everyone." Jack asks mid game.

There's only 4 people left.

Jack: "I reported the body in electrical."

Toast: "I'm all the way at Navigation."

Sykkuno: "I'm actually in storage right now, but I swear it's not me."

Jack: "Where was Corpse?"

Corpse: "Oh, um. In admin, at the card swipe."

Toast: "Hadn't you done that at the beginning of the game though?"

Corpse: "Uh, I failed like 20 times so I'd given up."

Sykkuno: "Wait, actually?" *laughs* "I'll help you out with that."

Corpse: "Oh, thanks, Sykkuno." *blushes*

Sykkuno: "No problem, Corpse." *blushes*

Toast: "So we're skipping?"

~

"Hey, Corpse. Are you doing something this weekend?" Sykkuno asks because he knows only Corpse can hear him due to the proximity chat.

"Um, nothing special, no."

"Oh, well. I was thinking, you could join us in Sunday to watch a movie?"

Corpse can literally see the blushing and awkwardness radiate out of Sykkuno's character. He lets out a deep chuckle and says, "I'd love that. If you don't mind."

"Oh yeah, we don't mind. The more the merrier." Sykkuno sighs in relief. "We have this thing where each one of us gets to choose whatever movie we want each week. It's Jack turn this time, so I'm not sure if it will be a good movie."

Corpse whole heartedly laughs at that and Sykkuno's chest fills up with warmth. He must be looking like an idiot smiling in the middle of his room while looking at the screen.

Corpse is about to reply something when someone reports Toast's body.

Jack: "Okay we know it's Sykkuno."

Corpse: "Oh yeah, it's definitely Sykkuno."

Sykkuno: "Wait, what? I was with you the whole time, Corpse."

Corpse: "Uh, but you're the imposter."

Jack: "It's clearly Sykkuno. I'm voting for him."

_*Jack has voted.*_

Sykkuno: "Corpse I was with you this whole time, how would I kill Toast? Besides I would never kill Toast!"

Jack: "Mate, you know it's him. Just do it."

_*Corpse has voted*_

Sykkuno: "Can't believe this is happening right now."

_*Sykkuno has voted*_

Sykkuno watches the screen and widens his eyes dramatically when he realises that Jack had two votes and is being ejected.

"Oh Jesus, we voted him off!" He shouts as 'Victory' flashes in the screen.

When everyone is back on the drop ship for the next round, there's a lot of noise going on because everyone is screaming their lungs out for some reason. Sykkuno is still in shock that Corpse used that dirty trick to freak him out and then just made them win.

Even though he's still smiling like an idiot, he senses over Rae's screaming voice that Corpse is saying something. He doesn't have to ask twice because he can hear him say, "Of course I trust you, Sy."

•

"You know there's a food court in the mall, right?"

"Yeah, but we're watching Jack's choice of movie. It has to be more than 2 hours. Have you learnt nothing, Poki?" Sykkuno says while covering his mouth so that he doesn't throw food out of his mouth while speaking. Rae would slap the back of his head and tell him not to talk while his mouth is full.

Poki makes a face at him and grabs a sandwich too. Rae steps out wearing a cozy looking outfit and Poki wolf whistles at her causing her to roll her eyes.

Soon enough all of them arrive at the cinema theatre, get their tickets and get ready to watch some weird sci-fi movie. At least Jack seems pretty excited. It's weird and endearing to Toast and Rae how Corpse and Sykkuno are trying as hard as possible to get a seat besides each other.

"Please wake me up if I fall asleep." Corpse whispers to Sykkuno not even 10 minutes into the movie.

Sykkuno brings his hand up to cover his chuckle but feels a hand on his wrist which retracts as fast as it comes.

"Uhm, sorry." Corpse says and coughs, looking away.

"That's quite alright."

They don't speak the rest of the movie.

•

"I really don't care about your opinions." Jack says and shrugs. "I really loved it."

"That's quite mean, Jack." James laughs.

"I know. But I don't care about that either."

A laugh goes around the table of ten. Corpse had somehow managed to snatch the seat besides Sykkuno at the food court too. Rae sat on the other side of him feeding him with jokes that only the both of them seemed to understand. All Sykkuno did was laugh behind his hand and try hard to ignore Corpse's stare burning the side of his face.

"Is Rae your girlfriend?" Corpse says the first few words he has spoken ever since he sat down at this table. The words are spoken directly into Sykkuno's ear and he shivers like he never does when Rae does it.

"Oh, no. She's like a sister to me." Sykkuno shakes his head.

"Oh, so do you have a girlfriend?" Corpse presses further.

"I don't think girls are into me like that."

And if Corpse wants to tell him that maybe certain boys are, he doesn't say anything.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hope you enjoyed the chapter!
> 
> comments and kudos are really appreciated :)
> 
> whole lotta love xx r


	3. Chapter 3

Sykkuno has been friends with Corpse for almost a month, the two boys have got to know each other while playing games, their weekly movie night and during classes. It is now well into October and James is throwing his annual Halloween party. So the whole group is planning their Halloween costumes without telling either of them what they are going to be.

It is their weekly movie night and Sykkuno would never admit this, but he is sort of sad that his turn to choose the movie doesn't come before Halloween because he really wanted to see this one film which he's sure will leave the theatres right after Halloween.

He tells that to Corpse one day while they're walking to class. Corpse is wearing his usual mask that he made himself - claiming that he's too awkward to walk the halls with people staring at him.

"I'm pretty sure it's not going to be available when it's my turn. My luck is pretty bad like that."

Corpse doesn't say anything, only nods.

It's a week before Halloween when it's Corpse's turn to choose the movie for their movie night. He buys 10 tickets for everyone and they all switch up where they're sitting except Corpse and Sykkuno. They always sit next to each other. Rae has already finished half of her popcorn when the movie starts.

A gasp escapes Sykkuno when he realises that Corpse chose the movie that he had wanted to see for the longest time. He turns to Corpse to see him fiddling with his rings. He looks up with a shy smile and tinted cheeks.

"You really wanted to see that movie." Corpse says as an explanation.

Sykkuno would have hugged Corpse if it wasn't for the handrest between their seats. So he catches Corpse's hand in his and gives it a squeeze, hoping that he would understand how grateful he is to him.

"Thank you." He mouths.

A smile blooms on Corpse's face and he doesn't let go of his hand the whole movie. His hand may be sweating profusely, he may want to eat his popcorn, but he doesn't let go off his hand.

•

To see the smile on Sykkuno's face when the movie ended was worth his extremely squeezed and numb hand. Sykkuno had laughed without covering his mouth for once and the sight made Corpse's heart ache for the lovely boy.

The way Sykkuno had squeezed his hand and smiled at him made Corpse more confident in their friendship. But the fact was that Corpse liked Sykkuno as more than just a friend. He just needed to tell him that. But he wasn't sure if Sykkuno was into boys like that. And he didn't want to ruin their friendship.

On Halloween night he decides that he would at least make his own sexuality clear to all his friends. Coming out wasn't a big deal to him. But he just wanted to be accepted by his friends - and he knew he would be.

So as he makes his way towards James' mansion dressed as the devil, horns and all, his heartbeat increases. The walk there takes less than 10 minutes considering he lives near the campus. He can hear the thump of the music from outside the house. The lawn is decorated in carved pumpkins and fairy lights.

He spots Bretman first when he steps into the living room which is crowded with people he doesn't even know. Bretman catches his eyes and makes his way towards him.

"Hiii, Corpse!"

"Hey, Bretman." He greets back.

"What are you?"

"I'm the devil."

"Ohhh, I'm Patrick from SpongeBob! You don't need to tell me I look good, I know I do."

Corpse laughs and is further introduced to half of Bretman's family. He meets James' friends next. By the time he has met literally everyone at this party, he has become extremely anxious, starting to feel like the walls are closing in on him. All he needs is a drink and some fresh air.

He slowly makes his way towards the bar and orders a gin and tonic. As he drums his fingers on the surface of the bar nervously, he sees a figure approaching him from the corner of his eye.

"Sy...kkuno." He completes.

"Hi," Sykkuno says as he jumps up on the barstool besides him.

"You're a...." He looks at him up and down.

"A catboy." Sykkuno says as he points at his cat ears. "And you're the devil, I suppose?"

Corpse nods and downs his drink as soon as it's placed before him. Sykkuno watches him worriedly.

"Are you okay?"

"Uh, yeah. Just– a lot of people make me nervous."

"Oh, that's okay, I feel the same sometimes. I'm more of a stay at home guy." He nods.

As the night passes, the house is full with more and more people making Corpse's anxiety fly through the roof. He hasn't even brought his medication. He has gone to the washroom at least 4 times in the past 20 minutes to calm himself down. Sykkuno has watched him worriedly from afar most of the night. If Corpse had it his way, he'd steal Sykkuno away for himself the entire time. But he knows that he wants to spend time with Rae, Toast and Poki since they're best friends.

So when Sykkuno comes up to him way past midnight to ask if he's okay, Corpse shakes his head with tears in his eyes.

"Corpse, do you wanna get out of here?" Sykkuno asks with a worried hand on his arm.

Corpse's skin is tingling with the slight contact, but he manages to nod. Both the boys get out of the house and step into the lawn.

"Can I take you somewhere?" Corpse asks when he has had a breathe of fresh air.

"Um, sure." Sykkuno shrugs.

So the taller boy takes his hand and walks him on the streets for a few blocks till they're in the midst of nowhere.

"Did you plan on bringing me to this deserted area to murder me?" Sykkuno says with a smile in this voice.

"No, I just thought it'd be fun."

"It'd be fun to roam in the streets in the middle of the night?" Sykkuno raises his eyebrow.

"Just- just trust me?"

"Of course, I trust you, Corpse." Sykkuno finds himself answering in the beat of a second without hesitation.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> to be continued ;)
> 
> hope you enjoyed the chapter!
> 
> kudos and comments are really appreciated :)
> 
> whole lotta love xx r


	4. Chapter 4

Corpse tugs on Sykkuno's hand and walks him to the middle of the road. Sykkuno nervously peeks to either side of the road to watch for any vehicles coming their way – there seem to be none. Corpse's words to trust him ring in his head and he gives him his undivided attention.

Corpse suddenly drops his hand and kneels down in the ground and further lays down.

"Corpse, what's going on?" Sykkuno gives a nervous chuckle.

"Lay down next to me." He pats the space next to him.

Sykkuno stares at the ground and contemplates the offer. He's been staring for so long that Corpse rolls his eyes, sits up, takes off his jacket to lay it on the ground.

"Here you go, you fucking diva." He mumbles with a chuckle.

"I wasn't– thank you."

Sykkuno lays down next to Corpse in the middle of the road. It feels surreal. The stars are gleaming above them and their breathe comes out in puffs. The whole thing seems so beautiful and breathtaking.

He can hear Corpse humming the tune of Yellow by Coldplay and it makes Sykkuno smile.

"Has anyone told you that you've got a beautiful voice?"

Corpse barks a surprised laugh at that. "People have said a lot of things about me. That isn't one of them."

"Well, if anyone hasn't said it," Sykkuno scoffs, "I'll say it. You've got an amazing voice."

"Thanks." He says but Sykkuno knows he isn't convinced, he hopes Corpse will believe him someday.

He starts singing 505 by the Arctic Monkeys next and all Sykkuno can do is watch the words that he so delicately constructs which fall from his lips and listen closely to all the little voice cracks and runs that he does. It's quite an understatement to say that Sykkuno is amazed by this human being.

The rest of their time laying on the road consists of Corpse pointing to various stars and names the constellations he sees.

"That right there," he points toward the left of his vision, "is called the artorium."

"The artorium?"

"Yeah." He nods.

"Are you even sure about that? I've never heard about a constellation like that."

At that moment, Corpse turns to him and looks as if he's keeping in a lot of laughter. Sykkuno squints his eyes.

"I'm only joking. I don't know shit about stars." Corpse whispers, and bursts into laughs.

Sykkuno pretends to be offended that he took advantage of his blind belief like that, but starts giggling soon enough.

The rest of the night on the road contains both of them creating weird constellations which either look like hearts or butts and naming stars ridiculous names like 'Bimbus' and 'Babushka'.

•

"Are you gonna tell me where you were all night yesterday?" Toast nudges Sykkuno with his arm, invading almost half of his bed.

"Why do you need to know?" Sykkuno answers back and burrows deeper inside his duvet.

"I need to know your whereabouts."

"Okay, dad." Sykkuno rolls his eyes and then mentally slaps himself for being rude. "I was with Corpse."

"Oh? Where did you guys go?"

"Just... Out."

"Is there something you wanna tell me, Sykkuno?" Toast says, his voice soft now.

"What do you mean?" He asks as he plummets out of his duvet.

"What's going on between you and Corpse?"

"Nothing...?" Sykkuno questions.

"Doesn't sound that sure of an answer to me."

"Look, there's nothing going on. He's just a really good friend of mine, just like he is yours."

"Come on, Sy, the thing between you guys is something entirely different than what we have."

"What do you mean?" He asks again, this time voice much lower.

"Sy, do you like him?"

"Of course, I like him, Toast. What kind of question is that?"

"Sykkuno."

"What, Toast?"

"You know exactly what I mean."

Sykkuno peels the duvet off him and rushes towards the bathroom. "I don't wanna talk about this."

Sykkuno slams the bathroom door behind him and winces himself. He takes a few deep breathes to calm himself down. He brushes his teeth and takes a shower. When he comes back out, Toast is still sitting on his bed.

"What do you–"

"I'm sorry." Toasts says cutting him off. "It's your life, I shouldn't force you to tell me stuff."

Sykkuno sighs. He crawls on the bed and sits next to Toast and hugs him sideways.

"It's okay, Toast. I was overreacting. We just walked down a couple streets and looked at the stars and stuff."

Toast doesn't comment about how ridiculously romantic that sounds. He doesn't comment on how they basically were Allie and Noah from _The Notebook._ He doesn't.

"You seem to really care about Corpse."

"I do." He sighs. "I have a feeling that he's been through a lot, you know? There's just some sadness in his eyes. And I don't like seeing it there."

Toast hums. "I've never seen you become friends with someone as quickly as you have with him. You both just hit it off really well."

"I mean, I try to be friends with everyone. It's just different with Corpse." Sykkuno mumbles.

"How's it different?"

"I don't know. Like, he's just really nice. Not that you aren't. But he's just... him, you know?"

Toast nods as if that makes any ounce of sense. "When was the last time you were in a relationship, Sykkuno?"

Sykkuno pulls away at that. "I think it's time for you to go, Toast." He mumbles, keeping his temper in like e has done all his life.

Toast sighs. "Look, Sykkuno, I just think–"

"Toast." Sykkuno says with finality even though his voice trembles a little bit.

"Sorry." Toast mumbles as he gets off the bed and walks out of the room.

Sykkuno waits till he hears the front door close and then starts crying into his hands. He doesn't know why he's crying. But the first person he calls for comfort isn't Rae or Poki.

"Hello, Corpse?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hope you liked the chapter!
> 
> loved writing this!
> 
> kudos and comments are really appreciated :)
> 
> whole lotta love xx r


	5. Chapter 5

"Why are we here? I swear you're really planning on killing me one day."

Sykkuno trips on a small rock and his bum is about to hit the ground when Corpse's hand flies out to catch him by the arm. He steadies Sykkuno on his feet, who mumbles a _thank you_ , and then keeps walking forward.

"Just trust me." He repeats his words from just yesterday.

"I do, Corpse. I just need some explanation."

Corpse doesn't say anything as he continues to climb up the small hill that he somehow found. Winter is approaching which is why it's much colder at higher altitudes. And considering it is almost sunset, the temperature starts dropping. If Sykkuno knew they were going to go trekking this late evening, he would've at least made the effort to wear his trekking shoes.

Corpse navigates through some trees till he reaches his desired location. He looks back at Sykkuno and smiles softly. Sykkuno steps up to the Pine tree that he's standing under. As soon as he does, he's met with the beautiful site of the whole city below them, lights and all. He's so mesmerized by the view infront of him that he doesn't notice when Corpse starts to drag a tire towards them from out of nowhere.

"Where'd you get that?" He questions.

"It was here the last time I came here. Thought I'd put it to use the next time I'm back." He says and points to the rope he brought along while walking here. Sykkuno had asked him why he had got the rope but Corpse hadn't answered much like most other times.

He starts tying the rope to the tire, which Sykkuno finds really hot for some reason (he would never admit that). He does some fancy knots that has Sykkuno thinking if he was a Boy Scout. He stands up and looks at Sykkuno with a little smirk.

"A little help would be nice." His small smirks brightens up to become a whole smile when Sykkuno blushes.

With his help, they manage to hang the tire with the ropes on one of the branches of the tree in such a way that it looks like a makeshift swing.

"Cool," Sykkuno says as he dusts off his hands.

Corpse tilts his head towards the swing and Sykkuno manages to sit in the tire's hole while Corpse takes off his jacket, places it on the ground and takes a seat.

"So, you wanna talk about it?"

Sykkuno sighs, knowing this was coming at any moment, it's the reason he called Corpse in the first place. They had talked for a bit on the phone but Sykkuno hadn't mentioned anything about being upset. Corpse had sensed it though, and asked him to meet him in the evening.

"I just felt suffocated."

"By whom?"

"Myself."

"Why'd you feel that way?"

"Stop acting like Toast. That's the last thing I want." Sykkuno shouts, annoyed.

As surprised as Corpse is at Sykkuno's outburst, he doesn't say anything. He's never known Sykkuno to be a hot tempered person. Then again, he has only known him for a month or so.

"I just feel so suffocated all the time!" He continues. "People think they can ask and-and keep asking about anything just because I don't like saying no. I'm tired of keeping all of this anger in just because I don't want to be mean to anyone. I just- I have a limit."

Sykkuno looks close to tears and his nose is an angry red. Corpse scoots closer till he's at Sykkuno feet. He places a tentative hand of comfort on his knee.

"It's not exactly healthy to keep all that fury in, I think." Corpse says. "You've gotta let it out sometime. Or it's gonna pent up and it's, uh, it's not good. Like, you don't have an outlet for your anger."

"What do I do, Corpse?" He asks softly.

Corpse fish mouths for a second and then gets up off the ground. He dusts his pants and asks for Sykkuno's hand. Sykkuno looks confused, but he places his hand in Corpse's warm one and gets up off the swing.

"Step up." Corpse says.

"What?"

"On the tire, come on."

"You're crazy." Sykkuno shakes his head.

"I'm aware. Now come on."

"I'm not going to-"

"Do you trust me?" Corpse asks with a small smile.

Sykkuno groans and puts his foot on the tire and hoists himself up using his hand clutched in Corpse's.

"Turn around." Corpse mumbles.

Sykkuno grasps the rope on one side and slowly turns around to again face the city. It still looks just as breathtaking but now he feels like he's on the top of the world. He vaguely registers Corpse climbing up on the tire behind him too, but he's too amazed by the beauty of the view to care.

"This okay?" He hears Corpse mumble, way too close to his ear which sends shivers down his spine.

"Perfect." He whispers, still looking at the city.

Both of them clutch at the ropes on either sides of them to keep themselves from falling. They both stay quiet for a little bit. Sykkuno let's the whole scene in front of him soak deep into his bones.

"I want you to yell." Corpse whispers.

"What?"

"Whatever is on your mind. Yell it out. Scream, swear, whatever you want to say."

"Uh, um, I don't know what to say Corpse." Sykkuno gives a nervous chuckle.

"Okay, I'll start then." Corpse says.

He takes a deep breathe, air tingling near Sykkuno's ears. Then he hears Corpse yell, probably damaging his ears but he doesn't care. "I hate my mother!"

"I miss my home! I wish my dad never left! I fucking hate who I am!" Corpse takes a few breathes after almost screaming his lungs out. "Your turn."

Sykkuno notices the voice crack but he knows Corpse doesn't want him to ask if he's okay. He wouldn't have wanted that if he was in his place too. So he just takes a deep breath and does just what Corpse told him to.

"I hate it when people keep asking me stuff!" Sykkuno yells, not as loud as Corpse, but close.

"Shorter sentences work better." Corpse chuckles with a choked up voice.

"I HATE PEOPLE! I HATE THAT I KEEP MY ANGER IN! I HATE HAVING TO BE NICE ALL THE TIME! I HATE THAT I SEEM TO HAVE ABSOLUTELY NO ONE WHO I CAN CONFIDE IN LIKE MORE THAN A FRIEND!" Sykkuno screams, ignoring Corpse's statement.

"Still not short enough." He chuckled again.

"FUCK YOU, CORPSE!" He shouts, and just as instantly turns his face and says, "I'm sorry, I didn't mean that."

"No, no! That was good! Keep going!" Corpse encourages, even though he found it amusing and incredibly hot that Sykkuno swore.

"I WANT TO LIVE FREELY!"

"I WANT TO FUCKING DIE!" Corpse provides.

"I WANT TO BE TRULY MYSELF!"

"I WANT TO FEEL AGAIN!"

"I HATE MY ANXIETY!"

"SAME AS HIM!" Corpse says which makes them both laugh, feeling much less tense now, both just having their fun with it.

"I AM NOT SCARED OF ANYONE!"

"I AM BISEXUAL!" Corpse yells without thinking.

Sykkuno pauses for a second, but not enough to give Corpse a chance to overthink what he said. So he too, without thinking, yells, "I'M GAY!"

"BE PROUD OF WHO YOU ARE!" Corpse yells one last time before they both fall silent, taking harsh breaths.

Sykkuno starts regretting his last statement. He starts overthinking if he's even sure that he's gay. Yeah he has never been attracted to girls all that much. But does that really mean he's gay? He has found some men attractive, but does that mean he's gay? Just as he starts overthinking, he feels Corpse's hand enveloping his and all thoughts fly out the window.

"Should we get going?" Corpse asks, almost as if he sensed Sykkuno's troubling thoughts and the need to get away. "Any last thoughts you want to yell?"

Sykkuno thinks, and then yells, "I want a cheeseburger!"

Corpse barks out a laugh and Sykkuno joins in. "What about you, Corpse, anything you wanna say?"

Corpse strokes his chin in exaggerated thought, which makes Sykkuno giggle, and then yells, "I FUCKING HATE FOIL!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HEHEHEHEHHE
> 
> *yells* I LOVED WRITING THIS CHAPTER!
> 
> hope you had fun reading it too :)
> 
> I watch the video of Corpse throwing the foil at his wall at least once a day. It gives me serotonin.
> 
> comments and kudos are really appreciated :)
> 
> whole lotta love xx r


	6. Chapter 6

"Cleo! Stop touching my makeup! Your mother will kill me!"

Sykkuno muffles his chuckles in his hand as Bretman has to go take care of Cleo for the nth time since he has been here. He puts her down for a nap and comes back.

"So why are you here?" Bretman asks when he plops himself down on the couch besides Sykkuno.

"Can't I just be here? Just to hang out with my friend?" Sykkuno mumbles.

Bretman laughs, "bitch, we both know you're here for a reason. So just spill!"

Sykkuno sighs, knowing there's no point beating around the bush with Bretman.

"I just– um, I have a question. You don't have to answer if you don't want to."

"Ugh, I don't like suspense, ask me already!" He whines.

"How did you– how did you know you were gay?"

"Oh, well that's easy. I was sleeping one day, right? And I had a dream suddenly. I was in some kind of motherfucking candy land. And then a fairy came to me and said, “Bretman, you're fucking gay.” And I was like, “okay, fairy.” cause who am I to say no to a motherfucking fairy? And then she gave me a rainbow cupcake and when I ate it, a unicorn came out the centre and puked rainbows. Then I woke up and went to the bathroom and shit glitter. And that's how I knew."

Sykkuno opens his mouth and closes it again. He fish mouths for a couple more seconds till Bretman starts laughing hysterically.

"I'm fucking with you, Sykkuno."

"Oh," he laughs nervously, "I knew that."

"Look, I'm not gonna generalise because it's different for everyone. I mean, I realised it at an early age and it didn't take me that long to come to terms with it. It can be different for other people. You just gotta come to terms with what you do be liking. Stop being ignorant. You like dick, you like dick. So what? Be open and free about the idea first and it'll be much easier to figure out."

That seemed like pretty good advice. Sykkuno knew that no one else could just make the decision for him. He's going to have to do it himself. He has known for a little while, maybe he just doesn't want to accept it. He doesn't know why. He fully supports the LGBT community. Maybe it's the fear of being accepted.

On the ride home, he thinks about a lot of things. He thinks about the way Corpse makes him feel, about the way he feels about himself and about the way people feel about him. He decides that being gay absolutely isn't a bad thing. And his friend group would be the last one to judge him for being gay, considering how close friends they are with Bretman and James.

So when he gets to his flat and sees his roommates and friends hanging out, he decides to come forth with the truth to everyone.

"Hey guys," he says, dropping his keys on the table and nodding at everyone.

Lily has come over and her, Rae, and Toast are playing an intense game of Monopoly, the Xbox left stranded.

"Hi Sykkuno! I missed you!" Lily says and comes over to give him a hug.

"Heh, that's sweet of you."

"How's Bretman?"

"Oh, he's fine." Sykkuno scratches at the back of his neck. "Um, I have something to tell you guys..."

Toast eyes him suspiciously. He hasn't talked to him since their little fight. And if he's honest, he doesn't want to fight with his best mate.

"You can tell us anything, Sy." Rae nods encouragingly.

"Uh, guys, I'm gay." He says, it's at that moment he realises that his hands are still shaking for some reason.

There's a beat of silence before Rae shouts, "are you dating Bretman?!"

"W-what no!" He shouts back.

"Oh, that's a relief. I shipped you w–"

"Lalalalalala!" Lily suddenly starts singing, cutting off Rae and standing up again to hug Sykkuno. "I'm proud of you!"

"Yeah, Sykkuno, we're proud of you." Toast nods.

"We are! Do you wanna celebrate with burgers or pasta?"

"Uhm, burgers would be nice." He says with a smile.

He's honestly glad that his friends aren't making a big deal out of it, because it isn't. He doesn't want to make it all about his coming out and everyone telling him how loved he is and stuff, he appreciates that, but it isn't a big deal to him.

"Toast, can I talk to you for a second?"

"Sure."

He leaves his monopoly money behind, which is being eyed by the two girls already. Toast and Sykkuno go to his room and sit on his bed before Sykkuno starts speaking.

"Look, I- I didn't mean to be all rude with you the other day, you just–"

"Sykkuno, stop. I realised I should not have been pushing you to answer my questions that you clearly did not want to. It's not your fault, I'm sorry."

Sykkuno sighs. "I'm glad you understand. I don't wanna be cross with you."

"It's okay, man. Really." Toast nods with a smile.

"So, do you wanna hear all about my crush?"

Toast grins and screams, "fuck, yes!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi!
> 
> a lil early new year gift for all of youuuu
> 
> A lil filler sort of chappy.
> 
> Hope it was okay :)
> 
> thank you sm for all the love so far
> 
> whole lotta love xx r


	7. Chapter 7

Christmas was nearing quite fast. Sykkuno had been worried for the better part of the day about buying gifts. It was great that he had so many friends. But it really put a hole in his wallet during Christmas time.

Toast had been really supportive with his mess of feelings towards Corpse. He wasn't the least bit surprised when Sykkuno had told him that he had a crush on Corpse considering he was the one to bring it up first. Sykkuno hadn't told him all about the things that Corpse and him had shared, knowing that Corpse wouldn't want him to and it was way too personal for him too.

He had bought affordable gifts for all his friends. But he still didn't know what to get Corpse. Even though he had gathered so much information about Corpse, he thinks he still doesn't know the little things about him. So he isn't sure what he would like as a gift for Christmas.

He's in the cold outside with his huge jacket on, going from shop to shop when he spots the perfect gift for Corpse. He picks up a few more things so he can ask Toast if those would be better gifts. As soon as he's home, he decides against asking him and instead giving Corpse everything. He's wrapping them all up when he gets a message from Ryan that he's hosting the Christmas dinner party and they're all invited.

Their plans are to open presents early Christmas morning and then spend the whole day eating cookies and playing games and then go over to Ryan's.

•

"Do you wanna come over?" Sykkuno whispers into his phone.

"It's 1 am." Corpse's deep voice replies, getting even deeper due to the phone call distortion.

"And?"

Corpse chuckles. Sykkuno can hear sheets rustling, then a sigh.

"I'm tired." Corpse says.

"Are you okay?"

"Oh, yeah yeah. I just get tired easily." He can hear him gulp.

"Do you want me to come over?" Sykkuno asks, unsure.

"If that's not too much trouble?"

"It's absolutely not."

"Don't you have plans for the morning with your friends?"

"They're your friends too. And yeah, I think they can manage without me."

"You sure?" Corpse's voice sounds so deep yet so soft at the same time.

"Yep, give me a few minutes."

They hang up after that and Sykkuno rushes out of his flat after letting Toast know that he's going to Corpse's knowing he'll be the most sensible one and actually understand instead of making him stay by guilt tripping him.

He takes his car and as soon as he's at the door of Corpse's flat, he knocks softly not wanting to wake him up in case he was asleep. He hears a soft reply of, "come in."

He doesn't see him in the living room or the kitchen. So he walks himself towards the bedroom. Sykkuno can't help but notice that his flat doesn't have a Christmas tree or even a hint of festive decorations. He clutches his bag, reconsidering bringing his gifts.

"Corpse?" He says as he softly knocks on the bedroom door and opens it.

He is laying on his bed under a bundle of blankets. As much as the sight makes him worried, it makes him smile as he grasps the fact that Corpse must love cuddles and warmth.

"You okay?" He asks, sitting himself down on the edge of the bed.

"Mmf." He makes a random sound.

"Did you eat, Corpse?" Sykkuno asks, knowing his ridiculous eating habits.

"No." He shakes his head. "Was too tired to make anything."

"Oh," Sykkuno frowns. "Well, I'll make you something to eat."

At that, he removes his blanket down his face and pats at the space besides him. Sykkuno looks confused but lays down besides him.

"I don't have any groceries. Can we take a small nap and then go grocery shopping?" He asks, "if that's okay."

He sounds so tired that Sykkuno doesn't have the heart to tell him no. He wouldn't have told him no in any circumstance. So he lays there until he falls asleep, and himself stays up to watch him breath in and out at peace.

•

"Sykkuno." He feels someone whisper in his ear.

Sykkuno also feels a warm hand on his back shaking him slowly do that he wakes. He blinks for a few seconds and then realises that he fell asleep in Corpse's room. The more he comes back into the land of the living, the more he realises that he's cuddled up close to Corpse and is almost lying on top of him.

"Oh my gosh, I'm so sorry." He spots out quickly and distances himself from Corpse.

He gets up of the bed so quickly, he might get whiplash. He checks the bedside clock. It's 4 am. Corpse stretches and gets off the bed too.

"About that grocery shopping?"

"At 4 am?"

"I mean, yeah." Corpse scratches the back of his neck. "We'll go to the 24 hour store. And um, Rae texted me that apparently I'm invited to the 'Christmas gift opening ceremony' and I haven't got gifts for anyone."

"Oh, sure!" He says, still a bit sleepy. "Which reminds me, I've got your gifts stashed away under your kitchen table. Don't peek."

"Gifts. Plural?" He raises an eyebrow.

"Yeah, I wasn't sure what you'd like." Sykkuno shrugs.

Corpse laughed at that, "I'd love anything you'd get me."

Sykkuno blushes.

"So, shopping?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> :D
> 
> Cute shopping scene coming up :)
> 
> I'm a hopeless romantic with very high standards, so it inevitable that you're gonna get super fluffy romantic scenes in this book lmao.
> 
> Hope everyone had a good new year :)
> 
> Comments and kudos are really appreciated :)
> 
> whole lotta love xx r


	8. Chapter 8

"Sykkuno, you're not gonna fit in there!" Corpse whisper shouts.

"Try me." Sykkuno giggles.

Maybe it was a bad idea that they had tried out free alcohol samples at the beginning of their shopping spree because apparently Sykkuno can't handle his drink and gets tipsy quite easily.

Right now he was trying to jump into the trolley and fit himself into the space where people usually sit their babies. He struggles quite a lot and finally decides that he's an adult sized human and pouts while sitting himself down in the trolley where all their groceries belong.

Corpse only shakes his head endearingly and pushes the trolley – not to his surprise, quite easily – and grabs whatever food he wants and throws it in Sykkuno's lap in the trolley.

"Why aren't they playing Christmas songs, Corpsey?"

"Cor– nevermind." He shakes his head. "I don't know. Maybe because there aren't any customers here."

"What about you and I?"

"Well, there's just the two of us."

"And?" Sykkuno raises his eyebrow. " I wanna talk to the manager. I have customer rights."

Corpse's eyes widen when he realises that Sykkuno is about to jump out of the trolley. He grabs him by his t-shirt and pulls him back into the trolley, unfortunately hearing a huge crunch sound which he definitely knows is the potato chips being crushed into fine pieces.

"No need for that. I'll sing you, okay?" Corpse sighs.

Sykkuno pouts but nods anyway.

"Deck the... halls with balls of holy, lalalalalalalalala–"

Sykkuno starts laughing, "Oh Jesus, you don't even know the lyrics."

Corpse's cheeks are pink when he looks at Sykkuno laughing. Instinctively he covers his mouth while laughing. Corpse reaches out and gently takes his wrist away.

"Don't hide your smile." He says and goes back to checking the expiration date of the fruit loops as if he said absolutely nothing, while Sykkuno looks away to hide his blush.

"You know what I bought for Toast?" Sykkuno says sudden.

"Don't tell me you got him a Toaster." Corpse squints.

Sykkuno laughs again and nods. Corpse can't help but laugh at that too.

"You're adorable, you know?" Corpse says. He's got some sort of surge of confidence at this hour of the night. And after Sykkuno came out to him on the hill as gay, he hoped that he had at least a small chance to be with him.

"I know." Sykkuno nods proudly. "You are too. When you blush, you look cute."

Corpse is caught off guard and his face flushes. Sykkuno smiles and points at his face and says, "like that!"

Corpse pushes the trolley past the food section and starts looking for gifts for his new friends. He takes Sykkuno's advice on most of them and chooses something generalised but something that he hopes they will like. Like, leggings for Lily, gift cards to Sephora for Poki, new headphones for Rae, a huge cosy blanket for Toast, since apparently the one he uses has two holes through which Sykkuno can see his butt, and more such easy basic gifts.

He doesn't know what he should get Sykkuno. And with him right there sitting in the trolley, he can't really buy anything without him knowing. But he still chooses something and keeps it in his mind to buy later by making up some reason to go back into the store.

"What is the worst gift you've ever given someone?" Sykkuno asks.

"Oh, I once gave mushrooms to my aunt and she was allergic to mushrooms."

Sykkuno cackles and then slaps his hand over his mouth after realising how loud he was in the dead silence of the store.

Corpse chuckles and asks back, "what about you?"

"Well, I've had my fair share of bad gifts. But the worst one was definitely when I gave my dad a screwdriver. What kind of gift is that?" He giggles.

Corpse was getting so amused by his constant blabbering as he chose gifts for everyone. It was so enticing watching him be free and talk his mind without a filter.

"Can we go over there?" Sykkuno suddenly says with hesitation in his voice.

"Sure." Corpse shrugs, he thinks nothing of it.

But when they reach the aisle that Sykkuno was pointing to, he turns around in his trolley and stands on his knees inside the small space. He looks at Corpse expectantly, as if he should know something. And Corpse looks totally confused.

Sykkuno starts getting nervous and second guessing his decision. He waves a hand over his head and the censor catches the movement and starts playing a Christmas song. Corpse looks more confused before he looks up to see where the song is playing from. And when he tips his head back, he sees a mistletoe. He gulps, _oh shit._

When he looks back down at Sykkuno, his eyes are wide and expectant. His lips are full and red by biting and pouting all night. Corpse so wants to kiss him. So he surges forward and holds Sykkuno's jaw in one hand while his thumb sets out to stroke his cheekbone.

 _Fuck fuck fuck, I'm nervous. Is this happening._ He thinks. He touches his forehead with Sykkuno's, and Sykkuno lets out a soft breath.

"Can I– can I kiss you?" It's stupid asking it since Sykkuno led him here, but he still does.

"Yes, please." Sykkuno breathes out, his eyes flickering between Corpse's eyes and lips.

So he leans down and places his lips against Sykkuno's and stays there with the Christmas song playing above them. He feels a tingling sensation all over his body. When he pulls away a few seconds later to catch his breath, Sykkuno is pulling him back by yanking his curly hair softly. The trolley is digging into both of their stomachs but neither of them care.

Both the boys are moving their lips softly under the mistletoe with their hearts warm with intense feelings towards each other and Christmas spirit in the air. Neither of them know where they go from here but in the moment they only care about the presence of each other as close to them as possible, they'll worry about everything else later.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kissy kissy boo boo.
> 
> Hsjsbsjsbs, was that unexpected haha ^_^
> 
> I LOVED WRITING THIS ÄÄÄÄÄ.
> 
> hope you enjoyed :)
> 
> Comments and kudos are really appreciated :)
> 
> whole lotta love xx r


	9. Chapter 9

The magical kiss under the mistletoe had ended with multiple pecks and giggles till it was no more a kiss but just clashing of teeth. They had decided to get out of the store as soon as possible, paid for everything and went back to the car. Both of them had litres of adrenaline coursing through their veins. Though Corpse had to pretend like he had forgotten to buy something and then go back to the store to buy the gift for Sykkuno.

When he was back in the car he refused to let Sykkuno drive because he wasn't sure if he could in this state. He wasn't drunk, far from it, but he was a little overwhelmed and kept either zoning out or almost sleeping. After all, his sleeping pattern wasn't as fucked up as Corpse's.

They kissed outside Sykkuno's flat for about 4 minutes before he really insisted that he had to go in. He invited Corpse inside but he said he'd come back soon enough after wrapping up his gifts. When Sykkuno started hyperventilating because he had left his gifts back at Corpse's, he promised that he'd bring them with him without opening them. They had kissed each other for a few seconds again and then Corpse had left.

The first one to scream when Sykkuno opened the front door was Toast. Ludwig, Poki and Michael were making hot chocolate in the kitchen while the rest of them sat under the Christmas tree trying to guess what was inside each gift. Toast almost jumps on Sykkuno and then drags him to his room while the others give each other questioning glances.

"You guys kissed?" He whispers excitedly.

"How did you- how did you know?" Sykkuno widens his eyes.

"Look at your lips!"

Sykkuno raises his fingers to touch his swollen red lips, he blushes intensely.

"Aww, you're blushing. Eek!" Toast claps his hands. "I also heard you guys kissing at the front door for like 5 minutes."

"Why were you hearing us kiss, you- you pervert." Sykkuno shakes his head.

"Come on, you guys are cute."

"That's not a good reason."

"So is he coming over?" Toast asks.

"Yeah, he just has some wrapping to do." He says while fixing his fringe.

"Well, come on and join us till then."

And so Sykkuno does. He has a great laugh with his friends till it's almost 6 am and Corpse is back with a bag full of gifts for all of his new friends. He gives Sykkuno's bag back to him with a wink, and Jesus Christ, Sykkuno wants to kiss him so bad.

He's introduced to the new people and they all get along quite nicely even though Corpse is a bit shy in the beginning. They all sip on their hot chocolates and get ready to open their gifts. The whole environment is full of Christmas spirit and even though Corpse hadn't showed himself to be the most religious person, he does seem to enjoy himself among his friends.

Sykkuno has sat himself besides Corpse and is lowly humming the tunes to the Last Christmas which is playing on some device in the room. Corpse notices how his face lights up everytime someone opens a gift that he bought them and says thank you. He also bites his lip to keep in his smile as he opens his own presents. It's quite adorable to watch and Corpse is totally endeared, not even ashamed to be caught staring.

"Stop staring," Sykkuno had said, but Corpse still continues watching him with a wide smile while Toast mumbled something like, "stop eye fucking him, get a room."

All in all, Toast had laughed till he cried at the Toaster he was gifted, Poki had screeched at the Sephora gift cards, Rae had instantly checked out her headphones and showered Corpse with a lot of 'thankyouthankyouthankyou's and so on. Corpse had received so much love for presents he thought were not so good. The lot had bought him a bunch of stuff ranging from new face masks and huge hoodies to a new controller and a Nintendo switch.

He still had to exchange gifts with Sykkuno and being under everyone's eyes while they exchanged was a little intimidating. Sykkuno hands him the two gifts that Corpse brought back from his flat, while Corpse hands him two back.

He tears open the first of the three gifts, which is a thin rectangle-ish packed one. When the gift wrapper falls to the floor, it reveal a the CD to a movie.

"You wanted to see that movie for movie weekend but you decided to go with the one I wanted." Sykkuno explains while awkwardly fixing his fringe. "You never got to see it, so um, I thought, yeah."

"Thank you." He says with a red cheeks while everyone around them awws.

When Sykkuno opens his first gift, his eyes go wide and his cheeks turn red. When Karl from somewhere asks what it is, he pulls out a pair of cat ears and everyone starts either laughing or choking on their own tongues. Toast fakes a cough and says, "kinky." And everyone is in a fit of laughter while both the boys sit there with red cheeks.

The second gift that Corpse receives is a big pick of spray paints that he remembers once mentioning off handedly. He wants to almost cry at the fact that Sykkuno has paid him so much attention. He wants to kiss him in front of everyone to show him how much he loves his gifts. Instead he tries to convey it through his eyes and a simple _thank you._

But Sykkuno understands. Of course he does.

When Sykkuno carefully removed the tape from his second gift, he's pretty positive that it's a book of some sort. And when it's revealed to him what book it is, he doesn't know whether to laugh or cry.

It's a book about stars. On top of it is a sticky note with Corpse's messy handwriting. The message written on top is,

_hope we can learn a bit more about stars and constellations haha x C :)_

Everyone around them is cooing, and for a second Sykkuno considers the fact that they might actually know about them. But he shakes the thought away. And when he looks at Corpse to tell him how much he loves his gifts, he's looking at him with a fond expression already. Corpse cannot express the amount of jumps his stomach is doing.

And yeah, it's the Christmas both the boys have had.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> mehehehe
> 
> I mean, I hope you liked it?
> 
> I'm not the best about choosing gifts for people so I'm sorry T-T
> 
> Comments and kudos are really appreciated :)
> 
> Whole lotta love xx r


	10. Chapter 10

It's new year's eve when the boys decide that it wouldn't be such a bad idea if their friends knew about them. They were both in Corpse's flat watching the movie Sykkuno gifted him in his bedroom, because they get more privacy there. Sykkuno goes for a kiss when the movie is at a particularly boring part, when Corpse raises the topic. 

"I really wanna kiss you at midnight, save some kisses till then." He says and dives in still for another one.

But Sykkuno freezes, "you want to kiss me in front of everyone?"

"It's going to happen some day, isn't it?"

"I mean, yeah, um, but I just thought, like, we aren't even like together together and just–"

"Do you want to be?"

"I mean... yeah."

"Then we are, I suppose." Corpse smiles easily.

"So, you're– you're my boyfriend?"

"Manfriend. I'm a man."

Sykkuno giggles.

"I would've asked you to be my boyfriend after we had been at least on one date." Corpse adds. "But this is convenient too, I guess."

"That's fine, we can go on a date in the new year." Sykkuno smiles.

And so it was settled that they'd both make their relationship public.

•

Everyone usually has a lot of plans for new year's. Most like to go visit their parents in their hometown while those who don't, end up at Sykkuno's flat to enjoy themselves for the end of the year. The group who didn't go back home was usually Sykkuno, Rae and Toast, thus explaining their tight bond, plus they did share an apartment so that adds to it. This year there was an addition. And none of the friends had any problems with it.

On most of the new year's eve (all, if they're being honest) they ended up drinking, playing stupid games and barely making it to midnight while Dick Clark's New Year's Rockin' Eve is on the telly.

This year was the same.

"Who's got to vodka?" Rae demands.

"Me!" Toast yells, already a bit tipsy.

"Pour 'em!"

"Straight?"

"Yep!" Rae claps her hands.

"No, gay." Sykkuno whispers into Corpse's ears. He snickers.

"Bottom's up!"

"Do you bottom?" Corpse asks just as obnoxiously. Sykkuno chokes on his saliva and turns tomato red.

Everyone is in a circle around the short coffee table, sitting Indian style, while passing around the alcohol that they bought. They have beer, vodka, whiskey and some kind of wine that Corpse promised is delicious.

"We are NOT playing monopoly, Toast. You remember how that ended last time?" Rae shouts.

"That was because Lily was here too, and you guys kept stealing my money!" Toast yells back.

"We'll play truth or dare." Corpse voices.

"Classic college student, me likes." Rae says and grabs the empty bottle of beer.

"Truth or dare?" Rae asks rubbing her hands together when she realises that the end of the bottle points towards Corpse.

"Truth...?" Corpse answers hesitantly.

"What was your first kiss like?"

"Oh, um," he scratches the back of his neck. "It was in my room with a boy who I used to tutor. I was 13, I suppose."

"Wait, you're into boys?" Rae asks, being the only one out of the secret about him and Sykkuno.

"Yeah, I'm bi." He nods.

"The representation in our group is, muah!" She blows a kiss.

The next one lands on Corpse and Sykkuno, and when Sykkuno says truth, Corpse says, "I told my first kiss, it's only fair I know yours."

"Heh, 16. Behind the school."

"Give us more than that!" Corpse chuckles.

"It was with a girl who was apparently the principal's kid? It was awkward when I said I didn't want anything like a relationship. Cause then she could tell her dad and just, yeah." He laughs nervously.

"Well, damn, my mum caught me and the guy kissing and kicked my ass, so can't be worse than that." Corpse gives a humourous laugh but Sykkuno senses some sadness under it. He stashes it away to a question he'll ask him another time.

"Dare!" Toast says when the bottle lands on him and Rae.

"Call Ludwig and tell him you're in love with him!"

That goes eventful. With Ludwig trying to let him down slowly and Rae not being able to keep in her laughter, the whole dare is probably going in their best new year's moments.

They continue to do shots and play never have I ever and some other ridiculous games till the ball drops. Everyone is screaming the last few seconds of the year at the top of their lungs till the clock strikes 12. Toast and Rae yell new year greetings while Corpse and Sykkuno go in for a kiss. They only get a couple of seconds till Rae is screaming their ears off.

"Jesus, calm down!" Sykkuno laughs, covering his mouth while hiding in Corpse's neck. He places a soft kiss on his neck and gets one on top of his head back.

"You! And him! Oh my gosh!"

Toast is literally rolling on the floor, so glad to be in on this secret while Rae screams about her ship coming true.

All in all, it's a great start to a new year.

•

"I'm exhausted. Gonna have the worst hangover." Sykkuno declares as soon as he steps into his room.

"Well, I haven't had that much to drink so, I'll manage I suppose."

Sykkuno sighs and comes back to kiss him again. He can't get enough. This feels unreal and like a dream, and he wants all of it before he wakes up.

Corpse pulls him by the waist, puts his hands inside the back pockets of Sykkuno's jeans, making him gasp, and starts kissing him again. Sykkuno's hands make their way towards the hem of Corpse's hoodie and he tugs on it and Corpse breaks the kiss just to take it off. Sykkuno takes his off too, if not because it was getting a tad too hot then to comfort Corpse.

He makes a move to take off the cat ears from his head – the ones that Corpse had gifted him for Christmas – when Corpse grips his wrist and shakes his head.

"Leave them on." He says quietly.

Sykkuno's eyes widen slightly but he nods and swallows around his dry mouth. Both of them lay down on the bed and continue kissing, tongues tasting each other when Sykkuno tugs on the belt to Corpse's pants.

"Another time?" Corpse says instantly.

Sykkuno looks disappointed in a second but nods anyway.

"It's just," Corpse adds, "we're both pretty shit faced tonight."

"Oh yeah. I'm pre-tty drunk." He hiccups.

Corpse chuckles and gives him another kiss. Sykkuno doesn't want to push his boyfriend into doing anything he doesn't want to. That feels surreal to say. Boyfriend.

"What are you smiling at?" Corpse asks snapping Sykkuno out of his daze.

"Nothing." He shakes his head. "Boyfriend."

Corpse grins, pulling him into another kiss till kisses turn into sleepy cuddles and spooning and tangling of feet and all the winter cold has been dissipated with the warmth of both of their bodies and hearts.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> do? you?? guys?? want?? smut???
> 
> like, I could write it if you want, I'm not uncomfortable writing it or anything. but would you wanna read it??? let me know xx
> 
> hope you liked the chappy!
> 
> Comments and kudos are really appreciated :)
> 
> whole lotta love xx r


	11. Chapter 11

As soon as the Christmas break had ended, everyone had gone back to studying for their upcoming exams. For Sykkuno that meant spending long hours in the library. He loved that place. He is in the midst of reading his chapter when his phone buzzes in his pocket. A smile splits on his face when he realises it's Corpse.

**Corpsey:** _where are you :(_

**Me:** _I'm at the library_

**Me:** _why do you ask?_

**Corpsey:** _I miss you :((_

**Me:** _awww you could come down here if you want_

**Me:** _as long as you let me study in peace_

**Corpsey:** _we'll see about that ;)_

**Corpsey:** _be there in 5 <3_

Sykkuno grins at his phone and then goes back to studying. Just as promised, Corpse is there in a matter of 5 minutes. He plops down on a seat besides him.

"Hi, you." Corpse greets him after he takes off his mask.

"Hey. You know we were going to meet in a few hours right?"

"Few hours too long." Corpse shrugs.

Sykkuno smiles into his textbook. He hears Corpse rustling through his backpack and then there's a candle placed on the table.

"What..." Sykkuno draws out. "What are you doing?"

"We're on a date." He says as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.

"You can't light a candle in here! This is a library! This building is legitimately made out of paper!" He whisper shouts.

"Who said about lighting the candle?" Corpse grins.

"Augustus Waters who?" Sykkuno mumbles while picking up the candle and bringing it closer to smell it's scent. "This smells like your butt."

"Been sniffing my butt, have you?"

Sykkuno's face turns red. "I have not!"

"This is not an official date. Can I take you out to dinner tonight?" He says, effectively changing the topic.

"Yeah, sure."

"Uh, say it with a bit more enthusiasm than that." He frowns.

"Yes, Corpse. Date me up." He giggles and leans in for a kiss.

He loves the way Corpse's hand comes up to hold his jaw and the way his thumb rubs his cheekbone gently. He loves the way Corpse rubs his nose against his own after he pulls away from the kiss. He just loves kissing him.

"So, are you studying or do you wanna snog?"

"I really need to study."

They end up snogging in the paleontology section.

•

"SYKKUNO! CORPSE IS HERE!" Toast yells.

Sykkuno is still fixing his hair and it would be an understatement to say that he was nervous. He runs out of his room and sees Corpse and toast talking in the kitchen. His breathe hitches when he sees Corpse though.

He's wearing his black skinny jeans, a white band t-shirt and a casual blazer on top. His hair looks like perfection and he's holding a bouquet of Cala lilies in his hand. His whole outfit is making Sykkuno wonder if he is under dressed in just his skinny jeans and a hoodie.

Before he can run back to his room to change into something better, Corpse spots him and gives a dazzling smile effectively stopping his conversation with Toast leaving him hanging in the middle of the sentence.

"I got you flowers." Corpse says.

"He can see that." Toast mumbles.

"Uh, thank you." Sykkuno gabs the flowers and goes to fill up the vase with water to pop them in there. "So where are we going?"

"It's a surprise."

"Of course, it is." Toast sighs. "You guys make me barf."

Corpse laughs while Sykkuno frowns at him. When the lilies look beautiful and settled in the vase, they both head out. Not before Toast yells out for them to use protection causing both of them to blush.

It's a beautiful evening and the sky looks perfect. Sykkuno couldn't be happier. Corpse is besides him in the driver's seat with a hand on his knee making him feel tingling sensations everywhere.

After about 15 minutes they reach their desired destination. Sykkuno looks around to spot the restaurant or cafe that they would go to but he doesn't see any open ones. Corpse comes around the car to open the door for Sykkuno.

"Where are we..."

"Trust me?"

"Yeah." Sykkuno nods.

He takes Sykkuno's hand and leads him towards a closed café near the road. It looks like one of those cafés that have an upper seating area too.

"Corpse, it's closed." Sykkuno says when he moves to open the door to the café.

Corpse only smiles and opens the door. They both enter the dark, Sykkuno's hand reaching out to steady himself if he trips.

"Dream?" Corpse calls out.

"Here!" A reply comes.

A man who looks around his age comes out from behind the counter, a grin adorning his face.

"The food is served upstairs, I'll leave you both to it." He says, jumps over the counter, grabs his jacket and walks out of the café.

Corpse grins at Sykkuno and walks him towards the stairs. He places his hand on the small of his back to lead him upstairs in the pitch darkness. Sykkuno is positive he's gonna kill him now.

That's when Corpse switches the light on. The café is totally empty. The whole places is decorated with fairy lights and lanterns. There's cute Tumblr quotes all over the walls and the whole place smells like strawberry shortcake. 

One of the booths, which is placed against the glass wall overlooking the city, has plates and plates of food stacked. Sykkuno feels arms wrapping around his waist from behind and then Corpse is hooking his chin on his shoulder. When he whispers next to Sykkuno's ears, he feels a shiver trail down his spine.

"Do you like it?"

"I love it." Sykkuno whispers back.

Corpse leads him to the booth and once they're booth seated infront of the piles of food – which includes burgers, fries, pasta, chicken wings and Coke – Sykkuno asks.

"Did you book the entire café for us?"

"I did."

"Wha– wait wha– what?" Sykkuno stutters, obviously surprised.

"I know you get anxious around a lot of people. So I thought I'd ask my friend Dream, whose dad owns this café, if I could book this whole place for a night. And he said it was okay." He shrugs as if it's nothing.

Sykkuno is overwhelmed by this fact. "You– you booked the whole café just so that I wouldn't be anxious?"

"Yeah. I wanted you to enjoy our first date."

"You did all this for me?"

"Yeah... Is it too much? I'm sorry I didn't–"

"No! No, no, Corpse. That's just– it's a really pure thought. And you going to these lengths just to make sure I'm comfortable is... it's lovely and beautiful and perfect and– and– just wow. I didn't think anyone would ever go to such levels for me." Sykkuno whispers by the end.

"Well, you deserve it." Corpse reaches his hand across the table to grasp Sykkuno's.

But Sykkuno pouts. "I hate you."

"I– um, what?"

"You've set the level of the first date so high, how am I supposed to beat this?" He pouts some more.

Corpse outright laughs. "Well, just wait as the night progresses. There's better things to come."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hehehe
> 
> the continuation is in the next chapter. 
> 
> hope you liked it :)
> 
> kudos and comments are really appreciated :)
> 
> whole lotta love xx r


	12. Chapter 12

The better things don't turn out to be so much better.

Sykkuno and Corpse enjoy their bucket load of food and Corpse is so glad that he booked the whole place because Sykkuno is being so free and giddy and eating whatever he wants without any fear of getting judgemental looks from people.

They learn a lot about each other just like they do every single time they're together. Sykkuno learns that Corpse had a great English teacher who supported him when he was still figuring out his sexuality, that he likes the orange flavour but absolutely hates oranges, that he can speak a few sentences in a lot of languages and he's currently trying to learn French, and that he loves to listen to and make music. Sykkuno begged him to let him hear some of his songs.

Corpse in return learned a lot about how Sykkuno always has to have a night light in his room or he just can't sleep, that he has always wanted a white fluffy dog, that he was never the popular kid when he was in high school and he only had Rae and Toast with him at all times, that he loves to sing himself but doesn't think he has a good voice, and that he was kicked out of a summer camp for bringing pot brownies but he didn't even know what that meant, and that he once saw a cloud that looked like a penguin.

The night is going very smoothly but as soon as they're done eating, suddenly the lights go off and they're surrounded with darkness again. Corpse lets out a shriek and Sykkuno just laughs while he tries to reach for Corpse across the table.

"I'll go get that checked out." Corpse says and walks away from Sykkuno.

"Can I come with?"

"Sure, yeah."

They both walk downstairs and Corpse starts checking if the fuse went off. He comes back with empty hands though, the darkness still engulfing them. He tries calling Dream but he doesn't pick up, probably already asleep after a long day according to Corpse.

"Fuck, this is not happening."

"Hey, that's okay. We can just go home, yeah?"

"But the date wasn't over." Corpse mumbles into his palms that cover his face.

"There was more? Corpse, it was already so perfect." He tries.

"But we were supposed to dance but the speaker won't turn on cause the electricity is gone and– and we were gonna eat ice cream– fuck, the ice cream." He yells and jumps towards the mini fridge behind the counter that Sykkuno hadn't noticed.

He pulls out the tray that had their ice cream to see that it's already melted. Corpse lets out a defeated sigh and slumps into a chair nearby.

"I'm sorry, I ruined our date."

"You didn't, it was perfect."

"Just– it's fine, you don't have to. I'll just grab the dishes from upstairs and we'll go home." He shakes his head and walks away.

But Sykkuno has other plans. He looks around himself. The tables were pushed apart so that they'd have space to dance, the thought warms his heart so much. There are scented candles which are placed on the windows of the café and he makes a decision to grab those and lights them up quickly with the matches that he thankfully finds behind the counter.

By the times Corpse comes down with the dishes, the place looks dimly lit but enough to make it seem romantic. Sykkuno is standing in the middle of the place looking nervous as hell.

"Keep those dishes and come here." He says.

"What are you doing..." Corpse asks as he comes closer.

"We're gonna dance." He smiles up at him while placing his hands on his waist and his own on Corpse's shoulders.

He places his head on Corpse's chest, the smooth frantic of the blazer rubbing against his cheek, and he starts swaying them gently. Corpse goes along with it for a while but then speaks up, still upset that he messed up their date.

"But we don't have any music."

"Don't we?"

"Wha–"

"Shh, don't speak, you won't hear the music." Sykkuno says, still swaying them.

Corpse doesn't say anything. Just focuses on the moment and how Sykkuno feels in his arms. The only sounds he hears are the cars honking in the distance, the chatters of the people walking along the road and drunken shouts of strangers on a Saturday night. He pretends to hear the music that he had planned to play for this exact moment and sways accordingly. When he places his cheek against Sykkuno's fluffy hair, he hears him sing.

_"I don't want to be the kind to hesitate_  
_Be too shy, wait too late_  
_I don't care what they say other lovers do_  
_I just wanna dance with you."_

Corpse is definitely shocked when he hears Sykkuno sing considering how much he said earlier that he hates his voice when singing. To Corpse though, it sounds lovely.

_"I gotta feeling that you have a heart like mine_  
_So let it show, let it shine_  
_If we have a chance to make one heart of two_  
_I just wanna dance with you."_

He can feel his hands clutching his own hands behind his neck. Corpse knows that Sykkuno is literally overcoming one of his insecurities to make this date special still and to make Corpse happy. He appreciates it so much.

_"_ _I wanna dance with you_  
_Twirl you all around the floor_  
_That's what they intended dancin' for_  
_I just wanna dance with you."_

Corpse squeezes his waist to show his appreciation and then plants a kiss on top of his head. That makes Sykkuno look up at him. He stares into his eyes intently while singing the next few lines.

_"I wanna dance with you_  
_Hold you in my arms once more_  
_That's what they invented dancin' for_  
_And I just wanna dance with you"_

Corpse can't take it. He bends down to seal his lips with Sykkuno's. The sweetest kiss they've had so far. They both dwell in the moment as long as possible, still swaying to the non existent music now that Sykkuno isn't singing anymore.

"You're cutting off the music." Sykkuno mumbles near Corpse's lips when he pulls away to breathe.

"Don't care." He replies as he brings one of his hands to hold the smaller boy's cheek to kiss him a bit more passionately this time.

Sykkuno's hands travel to Corpse's hair and tugs on a fist of them making him groan into his mouth. Sykkuno takes the opportunity to slip his tongue into the other boy's mouth and they both kiss sloppily for a while till Corpse decides to tap on Sykkuno's thigh. When he doesn't get the message, he pulls away to mumble, "Jump."

"What?"

"Jump." He taps his thigh again.

Sykkuno is still confused, so Corpse takes matters into his own hands – quite literally – and grabs both of Sykkuno's thighs and efficiently picks him up. Sykkuno lets out a huge gasp at that, which Corpse quickly swallows by pressing his lips against his. Sykkuno's legs wrap around Corpse's waist tightly and Corpse begins walking them until Sykkuno's back hits the wall. Corpse pulls away to look at Sykkuno with big doe eyes full of adoration for his boy.

"You look beautiful." He says. Sykkuno has his hair all messed up, cheeks blotchy and red from blushing all this while, his lips are coated with both of their spit, yet, Corpse adds, "So beautiful."

Just as they go back to kissing, more hungrily now, someone opens the door to the café, both of them turn their head towards the sounds.

"Woah, woah. Put your clothes on!" Dream exclaims, shielding his eyes.

"We have our clothes on, Dream. We wouldn't have done anything on your café tables." Corpse says as Sykkuno buries his head in his neck, embarrassed.

"We wouldn't have?" Comes a small mumble from Sykkuno. Corpse looks at him wide eyed.

"Would– did you– did you want to?" He asks, his voice deeper than ever.

Sykkuno only bites his neck gently in return.

"Okay, you animals, I can hear you. I only came back to fix the power outage." Dream says as he moves away from the couple.

"That's fine. I think we'll head home now, yeah?" Sykkuno says while looking at Corpse for confirmation.

"Yeah." Corpse nods. "Thanks for the whole thing, mate."

"You paid." He says while messing with the fuse board that Corpse was at a while ago.

"I'm still saying thank you, Dream." Corpse says teasingly as he finally let's Sykkuno stand on his feet.

Dream sighs. "You're welcome. Go on now, get out of here and get freaky or whatever."

Corpse laughs while Sykkuno covers his blushing face, dragging his boyfriend out to the car. They have much important things in mind.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ;)
> 
> bahahha
> 
> the song is I Just Wanna Dance With You by George Strait
> 
> comments and kudos are really appreciated :)
> 
> whole lotta love xx r


	13. Chapter 13

The whole week is bliss. The whole group of friends go out to celebrate Rae's birthday and everyone jokingly criticises Sykkuno and Corpse to be disgustingly cute. Corpse's heart flutters in his chest when Sykkuno introduces him as his boyfriend to the friends he hasn't met yet. Corpse gets another glimpse of drunk Sykkuno being cute. 

It was a good week.

Though now that they're progressing into mid January, the stress of exams is piling up on each of them. And Sykkuno is taking it a bit harder than the rest. It's got to the point that he doesn't even want to come out of his room. Rae is convinced that he's a zombie and Corpse is pretty intent on doing everything possible to get him to not stress out.

So when Corpse knocks on his door and gets a reply of, "I'm busy", he doesn't bother anymore and goes in directly.

"Toast, I said I'm b– oh hi, Corpse?" He says, a bit confused. His boyfriend hadn't texted him that he was going to come over.

"Hey, I came over to see how you were doing." He says and drops a kiss on his forehead.

"Yeah, I'm sorry, I'm swarmed in work right now."

"You have been for the whole week now." Corpse replies. "You're murdering yourself with all that studying."

"I just need to get it done." Sykkuno sighs.

"I know. Come here." Corpse says while sitting down on the bed and patting the space besides him.

"Corpse, I have to–"

"Sykkuno." Corpse says sternly, "Come here."

Sykkuno gives up and crawls next to Corpse who instantly wraps him in his arms. Sykkuno gives a great sigh as if he's content for the first time in a long time.

"Aren't you tired?"

"Mhmm." Sykkuno replies, sound muffled due to his face being buried in the material of Corpse's hoodie.

"Then take a break, baby."

"I know, I just want to do good in the exam."

"We all want to. But you can't force yourself to the point that you actually end up getting sick, yeah?"

"Yeah." He nods.

They sit like that for a while, comfortable in the silence. Sykkuno complains about his back aching though. And after a small lecture from him about how he must've sat in the chair all week and how he shouldn't have forced himself to study so much and blah blah blah, he says he would give him a back massage.

"No, that's fine. I'm alright." Sykkuno says.

"No, really. I give really good back rubs. I'm sure you won't regret it."

So Corpse grabs some lotion and tells Sykkuno to take off his shirt, which makes him blush and think about the last time he said that after their perfect date. He lays down on his front and Corpse moves to straddle his hips. Sykkuno is a blushing mess so he hides his face in the crook of his elbow.

And to be frank, it's heaven. Corpse for sure gives the best back rubs ever. Sykkuno finds himself outright moaning when Corpse's hands just rub the right spots on his back and work on the knots.

When Sykkuno feels much better, Corpse climbs off him and cuddles up besides him. They lie on the bed for so long without uttering a word, that Sykkuno thinks Corpse has fallen asleep. So he starts wondering when would be a good time to ask him on a second date. Sykkuno hasn't really thought about what he's going to do. But he's positive that he wants to take Corpse on a second date which is beautiful and perfect because it's what he deserves.

So when he says, "Would you go on a second date with me?" out loud, he wasn't expecting an answer. He was just practising how he would ask him.

"Love to." Corpse answers sleepily.

Sykkuno's heart starts hammering because he didn't think Corpse was awake. It's almost as if Corpse knows what's going on in his head, and hears his heart beating loud, that he adds.

"Don't worry. I'll love anything you plan." He says and hugs him closer.

Sykkuno smiles and cuddles closer to him. He can forget about the exams for a little while. He has been studying a lot and does deserve a little bit of a break.

Corpse stays over for the night and makes everyone breakfast in the morning. He swats Corpse on the arm when Rae has to give him a 10 dollar bill for a bet that they made about getting Sykkuno out of the room. He can't stay mad at him for too long though, considering the way he's laughing so hard and trying to leave kisses all over his face.

Sykkuno is just really happy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know I was afk for a while, but I have my exams going on and haven't been having many good days, so sorry :(
> 
> not the best chapter but hope you like it xx


	14. Chapter 14

The night of their second date, Sykkuno is super nervous; reasonably so. He had gone out of his way to plan everything and he wanted everything to be just as special - if not more - as their first date. It was the most perfect date that he had gone on and he just wanted Corpse to replicate the feelings.

Sykkuno was lucky that this was in the middle of January and that it was still snowing, because then it was an obligation to wear a coat and dress warmly, so it did not give away much about the date.

When he picks up Corpse at his apartment, he's still nervous but most of it dissipates at the sight of his boyfriend wrapped in a big coat and a scarf around his neck. It melts away even more when he leans over the console to give him a long kiss, as if they hadn't just gone to college together in the morning.

He isn't wearing any gloves though, refusing to wear them since he'd have to take off his rings. He rubs his hands together and Sykkuno turns up the heat while giving him a fond eye roll.

"So, where are we going?" Corpse asks, settling into the passenger seat now that he's warmed up.

Sykkuno only purses his lips and focuses on the road. Corpse gets the hint that he's not going to be told what the date is. Sykkuno is almost sure that he must be mad that he's stealing his thing. But when he turns his head to look at Corpse, he's looking out the window with a small smile on his face.

•

"No fucking way!" Corpse shrieks when they arrive at their date venue.

For a moment Sykkuno can't figure out for the life of him if Corpse even likes it or hates it, but when he jumps out of the car and almost starts running in, leaving Sykkuno behind, he realises that maybe it was a good decision he made to bring him to the skating rink.

"Corpse, wait for me!" He says while laughs bubble out of him.

When he has parked his car and given the keys at the counter, they both go towards the other counter which provides them with ice skating shoes. Corpse is practically giddy and jumping around full of adrenaline. Sykkuno is so relieved he likes it.

But the trouble comes when they both enter the skating rink.

"I don't know how to skate." Corpse says.

"Wh- what?"

"Hey! Don't judge!"

"Then why were you so excited to come here?" He can't help but laugh.

"I don't know. It looks cool!" Corpse whines.

"I'll teach you, come on." Sykkuno says, giving him his hand to hold on too.

But the fact was, Sykkuno wasn't very good at this too.

"Uh, okay, we just slowly slide, I suppose." He says while holding onto the railing at the side of the rink.

They both proceed to carefully slide their feet backwards in a walking motion, hoping for the best. They're doing pretty good for beginners, when Sykkuno decides to let go of the railing. His feet start slipping and before he can grab onto the railing again, he's crashing onto the ground. His bum makes harsh contact with the hard ice and not even two seconds later, Corpse is tumbling down with him.

While Sykkuno lets out a quite, "oof", Corpse outright cackles.

"You don't know how to skate, too, do you?" Corpse asks in midst of his laughing.

"No." Sykkuno mumbles, cheeks red with either embarrassment or the cold.

Corpse just laughs louder, not even making an effort to get off the ice. Sykkuno huffs and tries to get back up on his sharp ice skates.

"You're diabolical." He mumbles.

"I know, baby." Corpse smirks.

Sykkuno's cheeks are red because of the cold. Nothing else. Absolutely not.

After multiple attempts at at least properly staying stood up, they start to skate like normal people, not inviting any more strange looks from the people around them. They've formed their own little bubble, dancing and singing as carefully as they can, only falling down a couple times. They kiss on more than one occasion, Corpse stealing as many as he can. It's a perfect night.

When they decide to leave, they leave with reddest cheeks, warm hearts, hurting ankles and frozen butts. Sykkuno has more plans though. They walk to the frozen yogurt shop nearby and order themselves a whole lot of yoghurt. Sykkuno opts for a simple chocolate flavoured one with lots of chocolate chips while Corpse dumps every possible sprinkles option onto his. He's smiling so wide when he's satisfied with all the sweetness, that Sykkuno has to lean up to kiss his cheek.

"So, what's after this?"

"We go home and snuggle up and watch Breaking Bad." Sykkuno answers as he throws his cup into the trash can, Corpse following after.

Corpse's heart skips a beat at the fact that he called his apartment home. He doesn't mention it though, not wanting to make Sykkuno uncomfortable.

"It's fucking cold out here." He says while rubbing his hands together again.

"Well, I told you to wear gloves." Sykkuno shrugs.

"Sykkuno, stop being mean and give me your gloves." He pouts.

"That's preposterous!"

"Sykkuno!" Corpse whines.

"Fine, I'll give you one." He says while removing his right glove with a sigh and handing it over.

Corpse instantly grabs the glove and pulls it over his right hands, sighing in relief.

"What about my left hand?"

"What? I'm not giving you my other glo-"

Corpse shuts Sykkuno up by grabbing his gloveless hand with his own. His cheeks redden further and intakes a heavy breath.

"This good?" Corpse asks cheekily.

He looks so smug that Sykkuno wants to defeat him and make him a blubbering mess too. So he brings their hands up places a small kiss on the back of his hand, making Corpse's smile drop and cheeks redden further. It's Sykkuno's turn to be smug now.

"So good." He replies.

The only time they leave each other's hands that night is to get in the car.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> awwww
> 
> not me cooing at my own chapter lmao
> 
> I hope you liked it :)
> 
> comments and kudos are really appreciated :)
> 
> whole lotta love xx r


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> trigger warning for panic attack
> 
> reach out to your loved ones if you need support. it's okay to ask for help!

"If only I could've got the answer to the 3A question."  


"Baby, you've got everything else right, don't worry about it. It was just a one mark question."

It was their final exam for the mid semesters and as it was the evening already, the group had decided to go out for drinks. As much as Sykkuno was relieved about the exams being over, he was stressed about getting that one answer wrong.

Corpse is there for him though, he always is. He has his hand moving up and down in a comforting manner which is actually helping. He's so glad he has Corpse.

"Yeah, it's fine. The exams are over though. Which means now we have a lot of time together." Sykkuno says, meaning for it to sound flirty. It wouldn't to anyone else, but Corpse understands him. So he is a little disappointed when he gets no reply from him. "Corpse?"

His boyfriend has frozen in his spot though, staring off somewhere else. Sykkuno turns around to see who he's watching. Across the parking lot is a woman with dark hair and very distinctive features. Sykkuno feels like he has seen her before but he can't place her. She catches both of them looking at her though. The shock on her face is quickly replaced by a neutral expression.

"Um, Corpse?" Sykkuno tries to kick Corpse out of his trance but to no avail. The woman is walking towards them now.

"Corpse? Is that you?" She questions when she's at a meter distance from them. Up close, Sykkuno can see some more familiarity but still can't quite place her.

"Uh, yea– yeah. It's been a while. How have you been, Meredith?"

 _Meredith. Still can't place her_.

"I've been alright. Just moved here. I got a job." She says and smiles.

"That's– that's great." Corpse nods.

"Who's your friend here?" She asks casually. But Sykkuno can feel Corpse's body tense up besides him even though he's standing at quite a distance from him.

"This is– this is Sykkuno. My boyfriend." He enunciates.

Corpse's hand comes up to rest at Sykkuno's lower back. In that moment he realises that Corpse isn't doing that for introductory purposes but that being in any sort of contact with Sykkuno makes him calm down and he doesn't feel so tense anymore. So Sykkuno leans into him more.

"Oh? I'm Meredith." She says, seemingly a bit annoyed that Corpse didn't introduce her.

Sykkuno still doesn't know who she is.

"Hi. Nice to meet you." Sykkuno provides with a smile, ever so polite.

Corpse's hand tightens on his back. He looks at the side profile of his face to find him clenching his jaw so tightly, his jawline looks like it may pop out. There's a bit of a pregnant pause after that. Mostly consisting of the woman examining them both, smiling ever so slightly. It's getting a bit awkward, so Sykkuno decides that it's time he pops in.

"Well, we have places to be, um, so we gotta go. I'm so sorry."

"Oh! That's fine. Don't let me keep you." She says, snapping out of her trance. She adds, "I hope I'll see you again?"

Corpse nods curtly. And without a word grabs Sykkuno's hand and starts walking away. Sykkuno is super confused but he knows better than to ask. He waits till Corpse drags him to Sykkuno's car. Sykkuno makes quick motions to open up the car and makes Corpse sit down in the backseat but doesn't close the door. He needs a bit of fresh air.

As soon as Corpse sits down in the backseat with his legs still outside the car, he buries his face into his hands. Sykkuno knows what's coming. He kneels down on the ground between his legs and starts rubbing his hands on his thighs in a comforting gesture, just like Corpse was doing for him a couple minutes.

Sykkuno makes quick work to rub his arms comfortingly and coaxing him to remove his hands from his face and breathe properly. When he does, he notices his red rimmed eyes and the shaking of his hands.

"Hey, hey. I need you to breathe, okay?" Sykkuno says as he gets up to his feet and makes a move to see if he needs a hug. Corpse complies, and holds onto him as if his life depends on him. Sykkuno starts rubbing his back.

"Can you do something for me? Can you um, name everything that you see?" Sykkuno says, not sure if it will work on him. But this technique has helped him out quite a few times when he was having a panic attack.

Corpse nods against his chest. "Cars. Um, trees. Uh, the road?"

"That's good, that's good. Can you name what you smell?" Sykkuno asks further, keeping up with his technique.

"Petrol. Your cologne." He mumbles.

"What do you hear?"

"Your heartbeat." He answers, breathing going back to normal slowly.

"What can you feel?"

"You." He mumbles again, clutching him tighter. "Only you."

He plants a kiss on top of his head and continues to rub his back while rocking them back and forth. He doesn't know how long they're there. It's a long time because most of the cars from the parking lot are gone. They got a lot of weird glances from people passing by making him anxious, but he doesn't let his brain make this all about him. 

When Corpse pulls away, his eyes look sore from crying and his cheek has lines from pressing against Sykkuno's t-shirt for so long. 

"You good?" Sykkuno asks, wincing at his own question.

"Let's just go home."

So Sykkuno drives him home, and promises to stay with him. Even goes as far as cancelling his plans for going out to drink with his friends, saying he wouldn't have drank much anyway. Corpse doesn't say much, but he's really thankful to Sykkuno.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> pt. 2 coming soon
> 
> who do you think Meredith is :O
> 
> just would like to say that panic attacks usually aren't that easy to get out of. and I know that since I've experienced them a lot. so please please please ask for help if you need it, because sometimes you just need a helping hand and there is absolutely nothing wrong with asking for help. talk about your problems and don't let them get pent up inside of you, that's not very healthy. hope all of you have somebody to confide in, ily<3
> 
> hope you liked the chapter :)
> 
> kudos and comments are really appreciated :)
> 
> whole lotta love xx r


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> brief mentions of past homophobia, nothing much though, you don't have to worry :)

"Can we go to the roof?"

It had been a long night. Corpse had just said that he wanted to sleep for a bit when they had come back home from the college. Sykkuno had of course let him, busying himself in cooking something for when he wakes up. They had had a quite dinner too. Corpse didn't want to talk much, but he needed Sykkuno to be there for him. And so Sykkuno was.

They weren't speaking anything, comfortable silence enveloping them. Corpse had buried himself in Sykkuno's arms yet again, trying to fall back to sleep for the night but unable to.

It was past midnight when he suggests going up to the roof. Sykkuno doesn't deny him, does whatever it is to make him comfortable. Sykkuno guesses that Corpse comes up here a lot considering the spare bedsheets and pillows he has left under some shed. They both spread the sheets and lay down on them. This time they aren't coddled up together, not knowing where one starts and other begins. They lay down at at least a foot's distance, staring up at the sky.

It is almost like that Halloween night in the streets, but somehow more intimate. Maybe it's the fact that he's on Corpse's roof, or that both of them now have an established relationship, but something just feels more intimate. Corpse breaks the silence for the first time in a long while.

"Meredith's my sister."

Being shocked by this new information would be an understatement. He attempts to conceal the shock on his face, but isn't all that successful. Sykkuno now connects the dots together. The striking similarity in both of their features is so obvious. He feels stupid for not having figured that out sooner.

"I saw her after 5 years today." He continues when Sykkuno doesn't say anything.

Sykkuno stares at his side profile, his eyes visibly misting. Without any warning, Corpse starts narrating a story.

"I was 15 when I moved here. Remember Dream? From the Café? His dad took me in. I worked there for a while. I moved here because no one wanted me back home." He sniffles.

Sykkuno scoots closer to him.

"My mum had found out that I was bisexual when I was 13. Wasn't really fond of that picture." He chuckles dryly. "My dad left around the same time and my mum blamed it all on me. I tolerated it so much. The yelling, the– the abuse. Everything. And my sister never, not once, never helped me out. She's 7 years older than me. She just stayed in her room and did nothing."

Sykkuno has tears in his own eyes. Corpse keeps going though.

"I moved out at 15 and no one gave enough of a fuck to come looking for me. She saw me leave that night. I was opening the front door with my big suitcase and shit, and she fucking saw me run away, Sykkuno. She saw me run away and she still did not do anything."

"I'm so sorry, Corpse." Sykkuno provides, he doesn't know what else to say.

"This was the first time I saw her after that."

Sykkuno places a bunch of kisses on his neck and shoulder and any place reachable in comfort. "You don't deserve that. You don't have to see her again if you don't want to, yeah? Also, you did not even leave her any means of communication to reach you, so."

Corpse laughs wetly at that. The sound making Sykkuno smile. They lay back down and look up at the stars. Corpse reveals that this was the very first time that he has actually talked about his sister openly. And that he's very thankful that Sykkuno is here. He keeps thanking him about handling his panic attack so well and Sykkuno has to shut him up with a kiss.

"Tell me something, Sykkuno."

"What should I tell you?"

"Anything. Everything."

Sykkuno brings his hand up and points to a particular space up in the sky.

"You see those 5 stars shaped like a W over there?" He asks. He continues when Corpse nods, "That's called Cassiopeia."

"What's a Cassiopeia?"

"Um, she was the wife of Cepheus or something? I haven't reached that bit yet." He answers, referring to the book that he was gifted. "You know," Sykkuno adds, "some of these stars are light-years away."

"A light-year is like the distance light travels in an Earth year, right? I read about that." Corpse nods.

"Yeah, yeah. Exactly. And like some of these stars are like, thousands of light-years away. I don't know how to spot them yet, but like, it basically means that we're looking at the past."

"What the fuck?"

"Yeah! Like, that star over there." He points to a random one. "I don't know how many light-years away that is. Let's assume five hundred. That means that what we're actually looking at what the star looked like five hundred years ago. It might even be dead right now, but we'll only know that after five hundred years."

Corpse looks proper amazed. "Where did you learn that?"

"Well, I first read it in a John Green novel. It's also in the book you gifted me." Sykkuno kisses his cheek.

"Didn't peg you for a John Green reader."

"Well, I have my surprises, I guess." Sykkuno says cheekily.

Corpse is looking at Sykkuno with proper adoration. Sykkuno is getting a bit nervous under his gaze but he can't help but admit that he loves it. Sykkuno breaks the silence by smacking his lips to Corpse's. Corpse smiles, and Sykkuno does it again, causing it to grow. After a few pecks here and there, they're kissing, tongues tangling with each other.

"You wanna go downstairs?" Sykkuno asks, hands inching towards the other boy's pants.

"Not really."

"Oh." He doesn't let the disappointment show on his face.

"No, um, I meant, uh, ya know–"

"Here?" Sykkuno's eyebrows rise so much they almost disappear in his hair that's sweeped over his forehead.

"I mean, if you're okay with that?" He says, tracing a finger down Sykkuno's chiseled cheekbones.

"Won't anyone see us?"

"No, this roof is higher than others here, uh, and it's dark anyway–"

"Okay."

"–and the middle of the night and you know– what?"

"Okay." Sykkuno smiles, getting on top of Corpse and straddling his hips.

Corpse's hands instantly go to his thighs, gripping tightly. He leans down to kiss him properly again, taking his bottom lip between his teeth, teasing his boy till he's pulling at his shirt asking for more.

"You want me to take off my shirt, is that what you're saying?" Sykkuno says when he pulls away.

Corpse is too shook by the smug statement that he only has the strength to nod. In the dark of the night, it's just the two of them. Both kissing under the bright light of the stars that was probably created years ago.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> :)
> 
> Sykkuno saying the 'you want me to take off my shirt, is that what you're saying' was so unexpected. I was like um eXcUsE mE–
> 
> hope you had a good day. you're appreciated and loved. if you think no one loves you, that's wrong, I do :)
> 
> hope you enjoyed the chapter xx
> 
> comments and kudos are really appreciated :)
> 
> whole lotta love xx r


	17. Chapter 17

Their third date is a team effort. Both of them want to go to the Planetarium - Sykkuno, because he wanted to flaunt his knowledge, and Corpse because he wanted to adore Sykkuno when he was flaunting his knowledge.

Sykkuno cannot keep his excitement in, so hyper to show off everything that he has read so far. So when they get there, Sykkuno is almost jumping five feet into the air in excitement and Corpse can't keep his cackles in.

The automated narrator explains them most of the things, but when the part about constellations comes on, the millions of stars projected above them, Sykkuno frantically points at every constellation and tries to introduce it to Corpse before the narrator can.

It's so endearing that Corpse can't stop himself from placing kisses on Sykkuno's cheek every two seconds, knowing that if he kisses his lips and cuts off his speech, he'll be surely decapitated.

They do kiss under the artificial stars too, though. Once Sykkuno has had enough of speaking, that is. Corpse keeps asking questions about different stuff, just because he knows Sykkuno really likes to answer them. He rewards him with a kiss and a squeeze of his hip everytime he provides some fascinating information that Corpse probably won't remember the next day. He finds it amusing that Sykkuno does, though.

Sykkuno looks like the definition of cute when they're at lunch. Wrapped up in a big white hoodie, hair all fluffy, efficiently using his chopsticks, and his smile uncovered for once.

And when Corpse looks at him, concentrating so hard on the menu to order the desert, he realises how much of a goner he is for this boy; has been since they met. He realises with a dramatic force that he's falling so, so fast. As much as sudden realisation it is, he isn't actually surprised. He saw this coming a mile away. It's just the suddenness of it all overwhelming him.

"You good?" Sykkuno asks, reaching across the table to place his hand on top of Corpse's. Instant relief floods through his veins.

"Yeah, yeah." Corpse nods.

"I know this place is a bit crowded, there wasn't any other good place near that served sushi."

"No, no. This is perfect, don't worry."

"What were you thinking about then?"

"Nothing." Corpse shakes his head. He wouldn't tell him just yet. Not when he hasn't let the realisation sink in himself. And he'd want it to be much more special.

"Come on, you can't stare at me like that and then just not tell me what you were thinking about." Sykkuno says, taking a sip of his drink.

"I was thinking about how I wanna go on a lot of dates with you. So many that we don't keep count of them anymore."

While that isn't the whole truth, it's not exactly a lie. Sykkuno's cheeks redden to the point they look like little cherries. Corpse intertwines their fingers and smiles at him softly.

"God, I want that too."

"It's scary, how much I like you." Corpse feels like he's treading on thin ice.

But relief comes when Sykkuno replies. "I know. Me too. I just don't see a day I can spend without you."

Conversation flows easy between them as always and they decide to get ice cream because they never did after the first date. They're both sitting on a bench on the sidewalk of the road, overlooking the coast and the city at night.

"It looks like the someone sprinkled stars on the city." Sykkuno says, looking at the glimmering lights.

"Maybe someone did." 

"I want a pocket full of stars." Sykkuno says while laying his head down on Corpse's shoulder.

"Should've stolen some from the planetarium." Corpse chuckles. When Sykkuno whines, he adds, "I'll get you some, don't worry."

Corpse is done with his ice cream when Sykkuno is not even halfway through. So Sykkuno laughs and ends up sharing his with his boy. When they enter Sykkuno's flat in the middle of the night, they expect everyone to be asleep. So they slip into Sykkuno's room quietly, strip down till their boxers, climb into bed and cuddle.

"Today was really nice. Everyday with you is." Corpse whispers.

"Could you stop being so sappy all the time." Sykkuno complains but he's smiling.

"You love it."

"I do." Sykkuno says while burying his face into his neck.

Corpse's heart is beating fast. Only because he uttered the word love and that's really damn stupid. But the whole night after that, he can't help but wonder what it would be like to tell his boyfriend that he loves him. He lets his thoughts get ahead of himself and thinks about the day that he asks him to move in with him. He wonders if Sykkuno would jump at him and say yes or if he would say he needs time to think it over. He practically stays over at his place every night, but it's different. He'll probably take some time to think but would give an answer pretty quickly as not to make him anxious. Corpse loves him for that.

 _Fucking hell, I love him. Holy shit_ , Corpse thinks.

His fingers are tracing his back while he thinks so much about their future that a sane person would call him crazy considering that they've only been dating for about two months. He thinks about how they'd adopt a dog together because Sykkuno has wanted one for so long. He thinks about how he'll kiss him in every inch and corner of their house and how they'll maybe host game nights every weekend or that they'll play among us with their friends while in the same room, probably cheating by sneaking a peek into the other one's game.

He's so deep in his thoughts that he doesn't realise when it's morning and Sykkuno is mumbling something about turning off the alarm. Corpse does and places a soft kiss on his head and holds him close while going to sleep in the early hours of the day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> :D
> 
> hope you liked the chapter :)
> 
> kudos and comments are really appreciated :)
> 
> whole lotta love xx r


	18. Chapter 18

"Corpse?" Sykkuno calls out from outside his apartment.

When he gets no answer, he tries to open the door and shakes his head when he sees that the door is unlocked. He closes and locks the door behind him and walks into the kitchen calling out his name but to no answer. As he walks further to check if he's asleep in the bedroom, he hears the thrumming bass from somewhere further. The door to the space room is slightly ajar and he can sense the music coming from there.

As he goes closer, he can hear someone screaming. It surely startles him but he knocks on the door and swings it open. He's a tad bit surprised to see the recording room even though Corpse has mentioned it before. Behind the glass is Corpse screaming his lungs out at the mic.

The sight is wildly erotic to Sykkuno but he pushes those thoughts away and leans against the doorframe and waits till his boyfriend realises he's here. The profanities spilling out of his mouth doesn't surprise him anymore. He has gotten used to them and kind of likes it when he swears, not that he would admit that.

He loves watching him be in his element. It's not often that he's loose and relaxed and comfortable; always worried about the scrutiny he'll receive from others. They both are kind of similar in that factor. Though, when they're together they seem to forget the rest of the world.

He's singing a very very explicit song about choking and Sykkuno is wildly amused. He could keep watching Corpse sing with all of him for the rest of day but they've got to attend the weekly movie night since they've skipped recently on so many occasions. Today it's Rae's turn to choose the movie and she'll surely have their heads if they don't come.

Corpse notices him standing there and gives him a huge smile while continuing to rap, spitting bars easily. When he's done, he comes out of the glass room to greet Sykkuno with a giant hug and a sweet kiss on the lips. Toast says they act like a married couple sometimes and Sykkuno can't help but stammer on every word that comes out of his mouth. It's quite the sight.

"How long have you stood here?" Corpse questions.

"A few minutes." Sykkuno answers, smile making his cheeks look extra squishy. So it's really not Corpse's fault that he feels obligated to kiss each of them and sink his teeth into the side of his neck. It's totally Sykkuno's fault. For being so cute and attractive and sexy at the same time that Corpse feels the need to devour him all the time.

"Baby," Sykkuno mumbles with a deathly grip on Corpse's t-shirt already.

"What'd you say?" Corpse pulls away with a big, surprised smile.

For entirety of their relationship, the only nickname Sykkuno has called him is Corpsey and that too when he was drunk. Corpse calls him nicknames all the time and it's just a tad surprising but attractive to hear Sykkuno say it too. If Corpse is being honest, it's a bit too attractive.

"Uh– nothing?" Sykkuno replies with cheeks redder than ever.

"Say that again," Corpse whispers against his ear, giving Sykkuno no chance to overthink about Corpse not liking the nickname. He fucking loves it.

"B-baby." Sykkuno whines out when Corpse bites at his earlobe.

"Fuck."

Corpse's hands are at Sykkuno's thighs – his heavenly thighs – picking him up and throwing him gently onto the couch that sits against the wall in the room whilst kissing his boyfriend. As soon as Corpse is sitting down on the couch, he has arms full of Sykkuno who is straddling him. He loves doing that and Corpse isn't complaining. They've been in this position plenty of times but it never ceases to amaze him.

"We have to go for the movie night." Sykkuno gasps out but doesn't stop unbuttoning the other boy's shirt.

"Mmm, they won't mind."

The next few seconds consist of them fighting for dominance while kissing with immense amount of passion causing the room to heat up somehow.

When Sykkuno pulls away to ask a question, Corpse can't help but stutter and cough with how shocked he is.

"Do you want me to choke you?" Sykkuno asks with the most innocent voice. He adds, when sees Corpse choke on his own saliva, "I mean, like– like the song. You were just singing it– you know–"

"Yeah, yeah, I was... singing... the song." Corpse stammers.

"Do you actually like to be choked?" He asks, fiddling with the button on his jeans.

"I do." Corpse admits it quietly.

"Can you– can you teach me?"

Corpse nods, mouth dry, unable to utter a single word. He takes Sykkuno's hand and gently wraps it around his own throat. The moment is so intimate and highly erotic at the same time.

"Tighter." He says, Sykkuno's fingers tightening around his throat. "Count till 20, then let go."

Sykkuno nods, watching Corpse's eyes roll back in pleasure, blood rushing south. He doesn't understand how this could be a turn on for him, but watching him experience pleasure makes Sykkuno feel things he has never before. And if Corpse likes it, he likes it.

And so, when they show up to the movie theatre 20 minutes late, with disheveled hair and hoarse voices, their friends only smirk knowingly and don't say a word.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> breathe play can be dangerous and therefore do not go for it on an impulsive decision, and ask for consent every time. have a talk with your partner about it, establish rules and flagging colours and all that jazz.
> 
> hope you liked the chapter :)
> 
> kudos and comments are really appreciated :)
> 
> whole lotta love xx r


	19. Chapter 19

The bed is cold and empty besides Sykkuno. He pats around to look for Corpse but he finds him no where. He glances at the clock on the bedside table; half past eight. He yawns and walks out of his room.

One sight he wasn't sure he would see this morning was his boyfriend at the kitchen counter, cooking something. But that's exactly what he sees. He can hear his friends yelling about something in the living room. So he quietly walks towards his boyfriend and wraps his arms around his waist from behind and hooks his chin on his shoulder. Corpse jumps a bit in surprise but melts into his arms just as quickly.

"Good morning, baby." Corpse attempts to place a kiss on his lips but Sykkuno turns his head away, making his lips land on his cheeks.

"Good morning, Mr. chef." He says, but laughs when he sees Corpse pouting. "I must be having bad breath!"

"Do I look like I care, Sykkuno?"

So Sykkuno kisses him and when he pulls away, Corpse makes a disgusted face.

"You're a mean, mean person!" Sykkuno exclaims, smile evident on his face.

"I'm just kidding, babe!"

"Oh, look!" Toast shouts from the doorway, "It's the other couple being disgusting."

"What do you mean 'other'?"

"Michael and Lily are here." Toast says, pointing to the living.

"Ooh, let me brush my teeth and come." Sykkuno says, rushing to the bathroom to do so.

Turns out there were a lot of people over along with Michael and Lily. Scarra, Poki, Yvonne, 5up and Karl were sitting squashed on the couch. Corpse is still busy in the kitchen, making what looks like a thousand pancakes. 

"Do you need any help, baby?" The nickname falling off his lips naturally now.

"Yeah, actually. Can you serve everyone the cinnamon raisin bread?" Corpse says, pouring the last batch of pancake batter onto the pan.

"Sure, yeah." Sykkuno nods. "What's with you being the cook and all."

"I don't know. Just felt like making everyone a good breakfast for once." 

"What do you mean ‘for once.’" Sykkuno gasps, acting offended.

"All you guys eat is cereal and tacos. That's not healthy." He chuckles.

"Okay, I'm not even gonna fight you on that. That's true."

Corpse laughs and pulls Sykkuno in for a kiss, pancakes be damned.

When they're finally done, they all have an amazing breakfast with lots of praises directed towards Corpse making him blush under the attention. For some reason, Michael has a set of Jenga in the boot of his car – no one questions it – and they all decide to play while having drinks at 10 in the morning.

Sykkuno was intoxicated 2 shots in and was giggling at everything Corpse said.

"I will give you 20 dollars if you twerk right now, Toast!" Michael yells, laughter following.

"Well, you're in for a treat." Toast says smugly, getting into position.

They all learn their lesson that Toast can do anything.

"Did you know, the first time I had sex was with a girl!" Sykkuno scrunches his nose as everyone around him laughs. "It was gross."

"I hope it's much better now." Corpse giggles.

"OH YES!" Sykkuno yells, "SO MUCH BETTER!"

"Okay, you guys, we don't need to know!" Yvonne holds her hands over her ears.

"Okay, my turn!" Corpse says and carefully plucks out one Jenga block. "Dance or drink."

"Ooh, make it spicy, Corpse." Scarra comments.

"Oh, I can break dance!" Corpse giggles again and everyone makes space for him to dance.

While everyone cheers him on, Sykkuno laughs. It looks like his tummy has to hurt by the amount he's laughing. Corpse obviously finds it amusing and keeps dancing weirder and weirder by the second making Sykkuno almost roll on the floor laughing. Everyone is laughing watching Sykkuno go batshit crazy about Corpse's moves.

"Oh Jesus, you're hilarious, I love you!"

...And Corpse stops dancing at that.

Everyone in the room is still chuckling but when they see Sykkuno and Corpse staring at each other, Corpse shook to his core and Sykkuno nervously sweating and shaking, they start retracting.

"Uh, maybe we should go outside, give them some spa–" Karl starts but is cut off by Corpse.

"No, we'll go to our room."

 _Our room??? Seriously, Corpse?_ He mentally slaps himself.

He grabs Sykkuno's wrist and drags him towards his room. He shuts the door behind them and turns to Sykkuno.

"Sy–"

"I mean it." Sykkuno interrupts.

"What–?"

"I do. I love you. I have for a while now. Just, um, been too afraid to admit it, I guess."

"You do?" Corpse asks, voice small.

"Yeah. God, I do." Sykkuno walks towards him and wraps his arms around him. "I know it might be too soon or something. But I really do. And I just want you to know. You don't have to feel pressurised to say it back just yet. I just hope you're moving in the same direction as me."

Just like every single time, Sykkuno sees the turmoil in Corpse's heart. If only Sykkuno knew what Corpse's feelings were for him. He was so madly and desperately in love with this boy. And all he wanted to do was tell it to him and the entire world. But his mind kept on battling with him on making it special. So he doesn't say what his heart desires. And of course Sykkuno gets that. He really loves this boy.

"I am." I am already there. He pulls away to give him a kiss.

"That's all I need to know." Sykkuno smiles sweetly.

They lean in for another sweet kiss and the words are on the tip of Corpse's mouth. But he refrains, hoping in the near future he will be able to say them.

"Jesus, it feels good to finally say it. I love you."

And at the end of the day, even though Sykkuno was a bit disappointed that Corpse hadn't said it back, he knows that he loves him and he just wants him to know that he's loved.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> :)
> 
> hope you liked the chapter :)
> 
> kudos and comments are really appreciated :)
> 
> whole lotta love xx r


	20. Chapter 20

"Ahoy!" Rae yells.

"Rae, that's what sailors say, we aren't going sailing!" 

After a lot of chaos in their common group chat, the group of friends had decided to go on a beach since summer was approaching. It required quite a lot of planning, it turns out, since their group was so huge. They had decided to take 6 cars full of people. Sykkuno and Corpse were in the backseat, sharing the car with Rae, Toast, Peter, Leslie and Edison. Edison was driving the car with Leslie driving shotgun. All Rae wanted to do was play driving games and yell at strangers from the window. It was a miracle they hadn't gotten pulled over yet.

Sykkuno and Corpse were chilling and listening to songs that Corpse suggested with the same pair of wired earphones. Toast had gagged. They were also going through both of their Spotifys and making a collaborative playlist of songs that both of them enjoyed.

"Don't kill my vibe, bitch." Rae shouts.

"Yeah, Leslie, let her do what she wants." Corpse encourages.

He wouldn't admit it but he's really grown closer to these people. They're like family to him now. And he enjoys being in their company.

It's about in an hour that they reach the beach and everyone flees, not even waiting for the other cars full of their friends to arrive. As if ants colonising, they start laying down their picnic blankets and baskets and almost instantly start doing beach activities.

"I don't want to get sand in my shoes." Sykkuno says, nudging his foot with the other.

Corpse rolls his eyes fondly and then bends down in front of him. When he realises that Sykkuno must have his confused face on, he explains.

"Let me give you a piggyback ride."

Corpse grins when Sykkuno wraps his arms around his neck and jumps on his back without question. He grips his thighs and straightens up, walking towards the rest of their friends. He twirls causing himself to go dizzy and Sykkuno to scream. Both of them end up on Tina's blanket while waiting for their other friends to arrive. Almost as instantly as that happens, everyone splits into groups and start playing different kinds of games.

Fundy along with Dream, who was included into the group with warm hearts and was instantly one of them, initiate a beach volleyball match and the girls bring out their Uno cards. Michael somehow manages to multi task between the both.

Toast and Scarra are not too far off, shoving sand down each others' shirts.

When everyone has arrived, they all take a dunk in the sea and run as far away from Michael as they can when he suggests getting a taser to see what happens. Everyone is having loads of fun splashing around in the water. They all needed this break. It's been a while since they've all spent time with everyone and with the stress of the exams, it got a bit exhausting.

"Sykkuno, let's go build sand castles!" Comes an enthusiastic call from Toast.

Sykkuno follows him out the water, jeans soaked in water. They both settle on a blanket to avoid getting sand all on them, but that ends up happening anyway.

"So, any update?" Toast says, smoothing out the sand for the base of his castle.

"What do you mean?" Sykkuno asks.

"You know full well what I mean."

Sykkuno sighs. "No, Toast. No update."

"Elaborate." Toast says, going full into therapist mode.

"Like, he just won't say it back. Whenever I say it to him, he just looks at me longingly and like, um, I see gears turning in his head. But he won't say anything." He draws little smiley faces in the sand, leaving the duty of the castle entirely to Toast. "I may be unaware of most of the things usually, but I'm not an oblivious idiot, you know? I don't know how to say this without having to sound like an utter narcissistic moron and be like, I don't know, bragging or something, but I– I know he loves me."

Toast only nods, coaxing him to continue.

"And like, I don't want to force him into saying it and I want him to take his time. But I also just want him to admit it, you know? Like, I don't know what's going on in his brain. Is he having doubts about it? Does he not feel comfortable saying that he loves me? Is he actually okay with our relationship? Are we moving too fast? I have no way of knowing. I hope he has someone to talk about all of this. Cause he wouldn't talk to me about it."

"Sykkuno, I think you're not talking to Corpse as much as he is."

"What do you mean?" Sykkuno draws his eyebrows together.

"You're having all these doubts and you're not telling your boyfriend those." Toast shrugs. "It's a two way street."

Sykkuno turns his statement over in his head. It's true. He hates to admit it, but it's true. He could've talked to Corpse about feeling this way and not expecting him to magically peep inside his brain and know. Just like Corpse shouldn't expect him to know.

They're both in the same boat and all that.

"That's some good advice." Sykkuno nods. "What about you? Your love life's been dry."

"Ooh." Toast grins. "Nah, I got laid the other night."

"Wha–" Sykkuno wheezes.

"She was good. I got her number too." He laughs.

Sykkuno shakes his head and looks over at his boyfriend who is still in the water along with the few others. Him and Rae and yelling into each other's faces about something. He hears the word jellyfish being thrown around a couple times along with Michael's comments about turtles.

But he notices how Corpse's tough exterior from a couple months ago is slowly disappearing even around his friends. He's not as guarded as he used to be. And he's so glad that he found him. When Corpse catches him staring, Sykkuno send him a shy smile getting a flying kiss in return.

Turns out it was a mistake staring at Corpse for so long, because when he looks down at Toast's artwork, his castle is in the shape of a dick.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> owa owa
> 
> hope you liked the chapter :)
> 
> comments and votes are really appreciated :)
> 
> whole lotta love xx r


	21. Chapter 21

They end up spending the whole day on the beach side.

It's just about to be the sunset when Sykkuno leaves the company of his friends to look for Corpse who had left his side sometime an hour ago.

He finds him far off from the hubbub of their friends, sitting on a giant, tall rock secluded from every other rock. He looks so peaceful up there that Sykkuno almost doesn't want to disturb him.

"Hey," Corpse says, spotting his presence quickly. "You wanna come up here?"

"Yeah," Sykkuno nods, struggling to climb up on the rocks. Corpse gives him a hand pulls him right up.

Sykkuno ends up sitting between Corpse's legs, his back touching his chest. The sun looks tomato red from here, casting beautiful lights into the sky, making it have ridiculously beautiful shades of pink and red.

"You know, when I was a kid, I used to go to this little mountain that we had in the village. And every evening, I rode my cycle there and saw the sunset." Sykkuno reminisces. "I took a Polaroid photo everytime the sky looked pretty."

Without a word, Corpse pulls out his phone and hold it in front of his and Sykkuno's face and clicks a picture of the setting sun and the beautiful sky in front of them. He flips the camera so the picture visible on the screen is both of them. Sykkuno's cheeks turn red watching them on camera.

"Say cheese." Corpse whispers.

"Um, cheese..?" Sykkuno smiles softly and Corpse clicks a picture of them.

"Okay, another one." He says, kissing his cheek, giving him no time to react before he clocks the candid picture.

It turns out beautiful. Sykkuno's pretty smile is on display while Corpse kisses his cheek. They look so in love, anyone could tell. The picture might be shaky, but it's beautiful nonetheless.

"You didn't give me time!"

"Okay, another one, then." He grins.

He leans in to kiss Sykkuno on the lips. Sykkuno's hands naturally go to cradle his jaw. The kiss is sweet and soft and everything both of them have ever wanted. The camera's click is heard and Sykkuno turns even redder at the photo of them kissing with the colours of the sun making their faces look orange in the true sense of golden hour.

"That one's kinda cute."

Corpse kisses him again and pockets his phone. They sit there in silence, watching the sun slowly disappear into the horizon. 

"You know, these past few months have been surreal with you." Corpse whispers. The moment feels too fragile to be speaking out loud.

"Yeah. If this is a dream, I'd be so pissed. Cause I'd have to go through the exams again." Sykkuno pouts.

Corpse chuckles lowly causing goosebumps to erupt on Sykkuno's skin.

"Here I am, trying to tell you I love you, and you don't even care about me." Corpse pretends to wipe a tear off.

It takes a moment for Sykkuno to acknowledge what he's saying. But when he tries to turn around to face him, Corpse's grip on him tightens, keeping him in place. He doesn't say anything. He can practically feel the anxiety oozing off him.

"I really didn't think I'd ever fall in love." Corpse lets out a shaky breath. "I'm not the most cheesy sappy guy-"

"That's a lie."

"-would you let me finish?" Corpse complains.

"Yeah, sorry." Sykkuno giggles.

"As I was saying, I'm not the most cheesy sappy guy-"

"GUYS! I THINK WE'RE GONNA LEAVE SOON. ITS GETTING DARK." Toast yells, coming closer to their spot.

"Toast, I'm literally about to tell my boyfriend that I love him, can I have this moment?"

He says that so politely yet amusedly, it makes Sykkuno melt in his arms. Toast throws his hands up in defense and moonwalks away.

"So, as I was saying, I'm not the most cheesy sappy guy but-"

"Have you got the speech memorised?"

"For fucks sake, can you stop interrupting me!" Corpse almost yells.

"Don't kill me. You love me, right? Don't kill me. Sorry, continue." Sykkuno throws his hands up just like Toast had.

Corpse sighs. "I'mnotthemostcheesysappyguybutyoumakemebecomethatpersonandIreallylikethatforsomereasonandIloveyou."

"Wha- what?" Sykkuno laughs. "I did not get a word. You know, if it helps, I really love you, too."

Corpse sighs again. "I'm not the most cheesy sappy guy but you make me become that person and I really like that for some reason and I love you."

"Ooh, so you did learn that speech." Sykkuno teases.

Corpse fish mouths. "I literally hate you so much."

"That's not what you just said." Sykkuno grins, now turning around in his arms, laying his legs on either side of his hips.

"Yeah. I love you."Corpse nods. "Have for a bit now. Was just scared to tell you."

"I know." He pecks his lips. "You don't have to be nervous around me though. You can talk to me about anything."

"I know." Corpse fiddles with the hem of his tee shirt.

It's quite endearing watching him. He puts on such a tough exterior but he's a real softie on the inside. And watching him be so vulnerable and honest and truely himself, confessing his love for his boy, makes Sykkuno's heart do flips and summeraults and so many crazy movements. It feels as if his heart will fly out his chest if Corpse just looks up and gives him a soft smile.

And that's exactly what he does. He looks up. The setting sun reflecting glorious shades of orange and red onto his perfect face. Long eyelashes casting shadows on his sharp cheekbones. The ends of his lips curved up into a small smile, his cheeks tint redder and redder the more Sykkuno states at him.

Corpse has never been much for his appearance; still wants to wear a mask everytime he goes out and is in the presence of other people. But Sykkuno looks at him as if he's his whole world. And he is.

"I love you." Sykkuno whispers, tugging at the hair at the back of his neck.

"I love you, too." Corpse whispers back, smile growing.

There goes Sykkuno's heart.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hope you liked the chapter :)
> 
> comments and kudos are really appreciated :)
> 
> whole lotta love xx r


	22. Chapter 22

It was a week later that Sykkuno found himself being a nurse to Corpse.

Corpse had been having trouble with extreme pain all over his body, as he described, due to his fibromyalgia condition. And Sykkuno was totally understanding. He had decided to stay over at Corpse's place to help him out and just be there with him.

He slept most of the day though. Even though his sleep was never complete. You could just say he laid in bed while not uttering a single word about his pain except for during the night when he silently cries after he thinks Sykkuno has fallen asleep.

More times than one, Sykkuno has called him out on it. But Corpse's has said that he just doesn't want to be a bother. Sykkuno understands, but he doesn't let him wail silently in pain anymore.

It works out. They're getting better.

Sykkuno has stayed over at Corpse's for more than a week now; comfortably making and claiming his own place around the apartment. He had found himself in the recording studio a lot of times, but had never actually gone in without Corpse's permission. 

So he's a bit surprised when early morning he finds their bed empty, (Sykkuno doesn't even let his mind consider that he called Corpse's bed their bed) and he hears music coming from the studio room. He walks in to see Corpse messing around with multiple buttons and has a pair of headphones in his hands. When he notices Sykkuno he comes over to give him a kiss.

"What are you doing up?" Sykkuno asks after giving him a closed lipped kiss, much to Corpse's disappointment.

"Setting up the studio for something special." He grins.

"Are you feeling any better today?"

"Yeah, much. Thank you." He steals another kiss.

By the time Sykkuno comes back after brushing his teeth and freshening up, Corpse has the whole place set up and is behind the glass checking the microphone. He waves Sykkuno over and he hesitantly does.

"What am I doing here?" He questions.

"Well, you're singing." He smiles.

"No, I'm not." Sykkuno laughs.

"You sure are." He grabs Sykkuno's hand and makes him stand in front of the mic while he shakes his head vigorously.

"You know I can't sing."

"You have a beautiful voice." He says holding his face in his big palms. "And I'm not releasing this anymore. it's just between you and me. So don't worry. This is just for fun."

"Okay." He nods.

They end up singing songs like _Highway to hell_ and _Brain Damage_ and _We Will Rock You_ and _Landslide_ and _Your Song_ and _It Must Have Been Love._

Needless to say, Corpse totally nails the laugh in _Brain Damage_. Sykkuno isn't surprised. Half the time they're either kissing or laughing. The other half their yelling the lyrics to the songs.

The last one they sing is _Can't Help Falling In Love_ while slow dancing in front of the mic and kissing while whispering 'I love you's to each other.

"This was fun." Sykkuno whispers into Corpse's shoulder, while hugging him, still slow dancing.

"Not to say I told you so, but I told you so."

Sykkuno slaps him on the back and Corpse laughs.

•

"Sykkunooooo," Corpse draws.

"Whaaaaaat?" Sykkuno asks back.

"Get here already." Corpse mumbles loud enough for him to hear.

"Let me finish serving at least!" He laughs.

He brings the plates full of food to the couch where they snuggle up close together under a blanket with the TV on, playing some anime. From the moment Sykkuno sits down besides Corpse, he senses that Corpse wants to tell him something. He keeps looking at Sykkuno for a few seconds before shaking his head and focusing on the TV and stuffing his mouth with food. Sometimes he fish mouths before looking away and sometimes he just starts a discussion on a totally irrelevant topic. Sykkuno doesn't say anything, let's him be comfortable enough to tell him what's on his mind.

But enough is enough by the time they're done eating.

"What is it?"

"What?" Corpse furrows his eyebrows.

"You've got something on your mind. You wanna tell me?"

Corpse sighs. "It's just... I think I want to call my sister."

"Oh." That was not what he was expecting.

"Yeah. I don't know why."

"It's okay. Do you... want to give her a second chance or something?"

"I don't know. I don't usually do that. But, I guess?"

Sykkuno nods. "Well, I think it'd be nice if you met up with her once. You'll know how you feel about it then. Either you would want to give her a second chance and mend your relationship, or it'll work as closure over the situation."

Corpse stares at Sykkuno. Then smiles. "Yeah. Yeah, that's... that's perfect. Thank you."

"You're welcome." Sykkuno pecks his cheek. "How are you gonna contact her?

"Um, well, I have her old phone number still. I don't know if it works, bit I can try." Corpse scratches the back of his neck. "I'd it doesn't work then..."

"Just try it." Sykkuno gives an encouraging smile.

Corpse picks up his phone and goes to the M section of his contact list. He hovers over her call button but eventually gives in. He puts the phone on speaker and places it in his lap.

"Hullo?" Meredith picks up at the third ring.

"Erm, hi."

"Uh, who– who is this?" She asks, even though she sounds like she knows who it is.

"It's– um, it's Corpse." He starts fiddling with the rings on his fingers.

"Corpse. Hi." She lets out a noise of surprise.

"I was– I was thinking," Sykkuno gives his arm a squeeze, "we could meet up sometime?"

"We– really?" She sounds shocked and surprised.

"Yeah, yeah. Unless you don't want to, that's fine."

"NO! No, no. I'd love to."

"Uh, that's great. Where do you wanna meet?"

"Would it be okay if it's at my place?"

"Like, your house?"

"Yeah, I've got an apartment actually."

"Er, yeah. That'd be okay, I suppose." Corpse says, hesitation clear in his voice.

"You can bring your boyfriend too, if you want."

Corpse looks at Sykkuno. He nods, giving his arm another squeeze. "Yeah, okay."

"I'll text you the address?"

"Yeah. I'll see you soon then."

"Yes. Good night, Corpse."

"Night."

There's a beat of silence after he hangs up. Then he's looking at Sykkuno. And he smiles at him, his whole face showing how proud he is of him.

"I'm proud of you." He says anyway.

They kiss.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> :D
> 
> hope you enjoyed the chapter :)
> 
> votes and comments are really appreciated :)
> 
> whole lotta love xx r


	23. Chapter 23

Sykkuno shouldn't be surprised. But he definitely is. To the point that he wants to cry.

It's the morning of June fourth, when he wakes up with at least a hundred kisses placed all over his face. His nose scrunches and he opens his eyes to look up at his boyfriend who's laying besides him the bed with a glorius smile. The rays coming from the window from behind his head make him look like the sun.

"You look like the sun from Teletubbies." Sykkuno says instead.

Corpse chuckles. "Happy birthday, my love."

"Happy birthday to you, too." Sykkuno says sleepily. "Wait, what?"

Corpse laughs and buries his head in the crook of Sykkuno's neck. He places a sweet kiss there which makes Sykkuno squirm away with a smile.

"Stay here." He whispers, kisses Sykkuno and walks out of the bedroom.

Sykkuno takes this time to properly wake up. He stretches his arms and goes over his schedule for the day. He has a lecture sometime in the late afternoon but he'll worry about it later.

Corpse enters the room with a small table on top of which is a proper breakfast. Pancakes, eggs and bacon and toast. There's also a cup of coffee. He sets the table in Sykkuno's lap who's currently looking at Corpse as of he hung the moon.

"Come on, eat up." Corpse says, smiling.

"This is delicious!" Sykkuno moans as he takes his first bite into the syrupy pancakes.

He feeds Corpse some bites and they both end up devouring the whole breakfast while kissing in between. All the while Sykkuno tells Corpse about the dream he had where he was a character in some anime and how Corpse was there too along with Rae and Toast.

They decide to swing by Sykkuno's flat before going to their lecture. Everybody showers him with birthday blessings and hugs. Sykkuno wants to cry. But he doesn't. Yet.

Most of the lecture consists of Corpse doodling on his notebook because 1) he loves to annoy Sykkuno and the teacher. 2) he didn't bring his own.

He does this a lot. And most of his doodling is really endearing. Ranging from cartoons to little figures of both of them and their friends. It's really cute to also watch him draw those, lips set in a pout, brows drawn together in concentration.

Today they are doodles of Sykkuno with a cake and then there's some of little anime versions of them kissing. All of these make him blush. No matter how many cute doodles like this he sees, he will always get flustered by them.

When they get out of the class, though, Corpse starts getting jittery. He insists on going to Starbucks and starts stalling as much time as possible. He also keeps checking his phone. Sykkuno is pretty smart, he can figure out that they have some sort of surprise planned for him. He doesn't say anything though. Let's Corpse lead him anywhere.

They go on an impromptu date to stall some more time and it's 6 in the evening by the time they reach back home. When Sykkuno opens the front door, the room is surrounded in pitch darkness. And suddenly light bursts and everyone yells, "SURPRISE!"

Sykkuno yells in surprise even though he saw it coming.

"Oh, Jesus!" He covers his lips. "This is– This is so great!"

Corpse leans down and hugs him from behind, arms enveloping him to his chest. He places a kiss on his cheek.

"You knew, didn't you?" He whispers into Sykkuno's ear.

"Totally. It was so obvious." Sykkuno whispers back, the surprised smile still constant. He's a damn good actor.

They proceed to move around the room and get hugs from their big friend group. Rae brings the cake a few minutes later, mentioning at least 20 times that she made it all alone and that no one helped her and that she's super proud of it. It's a small but cute cake, shaped like his among us character, with a fondant leaf and all. It's heartwarming.

Everyone sings the happy birthday song while he cuts the cake and he feels like a little kid again. He feeds the first bite of the cake to Corpse, who's sitting besides him, watching with fondness in his eyes.

"Toast! No!" Sykkuno yells when Toast smears some of the green icing on his cheek.

"Don't worry, I'll help you with that!" Corpse yells when Sykkuno goes to pick up a tissue, quickly attaching his lips to his cheek, effectively licking the icing off his skin. Sykkuno's neck starts heating up at the open PDA and he only whines while being totally flustered.

He receives multiple gifts after that, including hoodies, money in envelopes specifically for his water bill, gift cards, a guitar collectively from his roommates and a bunch of other stuff. He still doesn't cry.

But when Corpse brings out his gift, he can't stop the tears.

He tears the gift paper on small, flat gift open. It's a CD. On the cover is a coloured doodle. It's all too familiar since he has seen the same kinds of doodles on his book for at least the past 5 months.

"What's this?" He whispers.

"Open it." Corpse instructs.

There's a little note inside.

_happy birthday, Sykkuno :)_

_thought I'd do something special for you. this CD consists of all the songs that we sung together in the studio the other day, fully produced with music and all ;)_

_hope you like it xx_

_~ C_

That's when the tears start.

"Is he crying?" Jack asks.

"Wait, Sykkuno why are you crying?" Corpse grabs his face in his hands.

"This is so sweet. I love it." He sobs.

Everyone around them laughs.

Sykkuno kisses Corpse right then, not caring if it's too much PDA.

Later that night, they both jump on the bed while listening to their songs while screaming the songs back at the speaker, and then slow dancing to their version of the Elvis song while Sykkuno cringes and Corpse tells him that he's perfect.

Sykkuno doesn't think the night could be more perfect, but then Corpse asks him to move in with him.


	24. Chapter 24

"So, he's your boyfriend then?"

"Yeah."

"How long?"

"6-7 months."

"I'm happy for you."

"Mmhmm."

Meredith sighs. "You know, conversation is a two way street."

"I have just seen you after ages since you basically didn't question my runaway. Yeah, the conversation is gonna be real peachy." Corpse takes a sip of his tea.

She sighs again. She brings up her petite fingers to pinch the bridge of her nose while closing her eyes tightly.

"I'm trying to reconcile."

"What makes you think I want to?"

"The fact that you're here."

Corpse fish mouths at that. "I could just be here for closure." He replies after a while.

"You don't care for closure."

"And you think you know me so well?"

"Corpse, please, I'm your sister and–"

"Who hasn't ever been around for me." Corpse interrupts.

"–even though I haven't been around, I care for you, and want to be there for you henceforth."

"Bullshit." He scoffs.

"Why can't you just believe me for a second?" Meredith drags her hands down her face.

"Why didn't you say anything? Why didn't you stop me? Why haven't you contacted me all this time, why now?" Corpse asks, picking at his already chipped black nail polish.

"You weren't happy back home–"

"It was never home." Corpse chuckles darkly.

"I thought you'd be happier if we let you go. Happier when you're not stuck in that hellhole."

Corpse doesn't say anything; he lets her continue.

"I knew you would never get to be free under mum's claws, so when I saw you sneak out, I didn't stop you. I didn't contact you all this while because how could I? I had no way to, and I didn't even know where you were heading off to."

They're silent for a long time after that. The chatter of the customers around them filling up the surrounding and acting as white noise. The conversation was getting depressing. He isn't even sure why he's here.

The thought of going back home to his boyfriend who must still be asleep is tempting. He would just sneak into bed with him again and pretend he was there all along, he'd get to see Sykkuno waking up and flashing him that uncovered smile when he realises that his boyfriend is sleeping besides him. But he knows Sykkuno wouldn't be too happy if he came back without even trying.

"You know, you could've at least tried to save me from mother's torture. You sat back and watched what she did to me and then you sat back and watched me go too."

"I know. That was wrong of me. I should've said something, I should've protected–"

"Speaking of our beloved mother, how is she doing? Still crying over our excuse of a father or has she–"

"Corpse?" Meredith interrupts him.

"What?" Corpse spits.

She just states with furrowed eyebrows, so similar to his own.

"Did no one tell you?"

"What?" Corpse repeats.

"Corpse, mum died last year."

Suddenly it's pin drop silence. The white noise has disappeared. Everything has blurred out. Corpse can hear his own heart beat thumping in his ears.

"W-what happened?" His lips make up the question and ask without actually recieving the information to do so by his brain.

"It was alcohol withdrawal. Apparently she..." Meredith starts explaining but Corpse can't hear any of it.

Time has frozen for him. He can see Meredith forming the words and talking about something, bug he can't make out what she's saying. He notices the way her hands shake and how her eyes are glazing over, but he can't do anything to comfort her. He just sits there frozen, not knowing what exactly to do.

"Corpse, are you okay? I know this is a great shock, I honestly thought someone would have told you. It's strange that you don't know about your own mother's demise, I thought–"

"I have to go." Corpse mumbles.

"What?!" Meredith shouts incredulously.

"I have to go." Corpse repeats more firmly.

"You can't just leave. We just started to talk." She says, looking a little lost and disappointed.

"I'm sorry, maybe some other time. I-I have to go." He finds himself saying.

He walks out of the coffee shop, dumping the half full paper cup into the trash. The walk home turns out to be much more of a refresher to his thoughts than he thought it would be. He gets some well deserved fresh air after that train wreck of a conversation.

Sykkuno, as he predicted, is still cuddled up in bed. So Corpse takes off his coat and slides into bed next to him. Sykkuno looks like a small kitten when he sleep, soft snores escaping him making adorable little noises.

He casually brings his hand up to caress his high cheekbones and the fluffy mess on top of his head. He is brought back to a couple nights ago when he asked him to move in.

"Are you serious?!" He had yelled.

"Yeah, do you want to? I know it's fast but you already basically live there so...?"

"Yes yes yes!" He had jumped on the bed and kissed him so hard, he was sure his lips would bruise.

They had still decided to take it a bit slow and have discussions about whether or not they'll just move to Corpse's flat or go for a new place. They had lots of decisions to make and both of them couldn't be happier.

As of now though, they still stay over at either one's place. It's quite rare of them to sleep alone at their respective flats, if they do, they wake up in the middle of the night and facetime till they fall asleep. Corpse's insomniac tendencies might have given him advantages to be up for longer than Sykkuno and that explains the stash of screenshots he has of Sykkuno sleeping. He also has some on his camera on early mornings with the sun just hits right and Sykkuno looks like an angel, which is pretty much every morning.

This morning though, Corpse just settles for admiring the view in front of him I stead of grabbing a camera and clicking pictures of his boyfriend which he will later complain about saying that he looks bad in all of those. No, today he has got a lot on his mind. And as much as he tries to push those thoughts away by trying to use Sykkuno as a distraction, it doesn't work. It also feels wrong.

"No camera in my face today?" Sykkuno says, eyes still closed.

His lips curve up into a smile and he softly opens his eyes. The brown in his eyes looks lighter due to the sunlight.

"No, no camera today." Corpse plants a kiss on top of his fluffy hair.

"Did you go out?"

"Yeah." Corpse starts fiddling with the sheets. "I met up with Meredith."

Sykkuno gasps. "How did it go?"

"It was, uh, it was something." Corpse answers vaguely.

"What do you mean?"

"Sy, um, my mother died last year. I just found out."

"Oh, Corpse. Are you okay?" Sykkuno instantly starts worrying.

"Yeah. I mean, I guess."

Sykkuno doesn't say a word, knowing that Corpse still has a lot to say but just needs some time to sort his thoughts.

"I don't," Corpse takes a deep breath, "I don't know why I'm so choked up about this. I never even liked her."

"Hey, it's alright to feel that way, you know?"

"I hated her, and she hated me, Sykkuno. I shouldn't feel like this."

"Corpse," Sykkuno says, sitting up. "She was a part of your life growing up. Till what? Till you were 15? And now that she's suddenly gone, and you won't ever see her again, that's gotta be a shock, babe. It's normal."

Corpse takes a second to soak in the words, then he nods.

"Do you want me to make you some coffee?" Sykkuno asks.

Corpse shakes his head. "Can we just stay in bed for a bit?"

"Of course."

They both lie down in the bed again. Corpse lays his head down on Sykkuno's chest, seeking refuge in his heartbeat. Sykkuno starts scratching and massaging his scalp. Both of them stay there in comfortable silence for as long as they can.

It's been a long day, and it's only the morning.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> a reminder that everyone deals with death differently, especially of a person who was hostile to you.
> 
> your feelings are valid<3
> 
> hope you liked the chapter :)
> 
> kudos and comments are really appreciated :)
> 
> whole lotta love xx r


	25. Chapter 25

"Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you, Corpse, happy birthday to you." Sykkuno sings.

Corpse claps himself since there is no one else to, acting embarrassing but truthfully he's just endeared. Sykkuno places the little muffin on the pillow on Corpse's lap and settles on the bed besides him. Corpse bites into the muffin and his face lights up. His phone starts pinging with all the midnight happy birthday texts from his friends. It's hard for him to think about a time when his own father wouldn't wish him and now he's got so many people. He pushes the thoughts away.

"This is delicious." He says with a mouthful of cake, lips covered in icing.

"Thank you." Sykkuno beams and leans forward to kiss him, licking the icing in process.

They share the muffin and then Corpse grabs his phone to thank everyone. Sykkuno disappears somewhere to get Corpse's gifts.

"Gifts, multiple?" Corpse had asked.

"Yes, multiple."

Sykkuno is still procrastinating over that one gift but he tells his mind to shut up. He walks back to the room.

"Okay, so here's the first one." He places a huge box on the bed.

Corpse rubs his hands together in what he thinks is a vicious manner, but it just looks adorable. Sykkuno bought everything on Corpse's Amazon wishlist including and not limited to his studio equipment which he had been whining about getting for the longest time.

"Sykkuno! This must have costed so much!" Corpse yells, looking up.

Sykkuno waves a hand. "Nothing much, I had a lot of savings."

"That's even worse!"

"Just say thank you and move on!" Sykkuno says back and laughs.

Corpse pouts but moves to hug him. Sykkuno takes advantage of this and plants himself in Corpse's lap, legs either side of his hips.

"Next gift," he whispers, hyper aware of their close proximity.

"What's it?" Corpse smiles.

Sykkuno takes out a small box from his pocket and hold it in his hands in front of Corpse. He gestures him to open it. There's two keychains and a small note sitting inside. Corpse opens the note to discover some kind of website link.

"Grab your phone." Sykkuno instructs.

Corpse copies the whole thing to his Google Chrome and gasps when the site opens. It shows pictures of a beautiful flat. He scrolls through the pictures showing the different parts of the flat. He's particularly admiring the kitchen photo when Sykkuno speaks up.

"20 minutes away from here, close to campus though. Fits in our budget. Looks really cute. What do you think?"

"It's fucking beautiful."

Sykkuno laughs. "Really? I know we've been struggling very much with finding a flat we both like."

"Really. This is everything we both want. It's perfect." Corpse nods, voice sounding choked up.

"Well, that's great then. We can go look at it later this week?"

"Absolutely." He kisses him.

"And now the third gift!"

"What could be better than this?" He shakes his head.

"Hmm, let me think. ME!" Sykkuno says and connects their lips together.

"Birthday sex?" Corpse asks, pulling away from the kiss to take a breath.

"Birthday sex." Sykkuno nods.

"You'll be the death of me." Corpse groans.

~

Sykkuno hasn't planned a big birthday bash for Corpse because he had told him not to and he knows he wouldn't want that. Instead he opted for a smaller cozier birthday with just the two of them doing stuff together and being extra loved up and Sykkuno wishing him a happy birthday every two minutes.

But Sykkuno sees. Of course, he sees. He sees how Corpse is smiling, bit it doesn't reach his eyes. He's pretending to be happy but something's eating him alive. And he knows what it is. So he decides to bring the last gift earlier than he thought he would.

The sky is darkening and the night sky is present. It looks like it's going to rain. Corpse is sat by the window with his cup of coffee. Sykkuno walks to him and stops when he's right in front of him.

"So, you've got another gift. Well, I'm not sure if I should call it a gift. But... I've got something for you." Sykkuno says.

"What is it?" Corpse asks while patting the space next to him, inviting him to sit down.

Sykkuno places an envelope in his hands.

"What is this?"

"Corpse, don't be mad." Sykkuno starts, continuing with a very soft and low voice. "I met your sister and I asked for location at which your mother is buried. The envelope contains that."

"What the fu–"

When Sykkuno sees Corpse fuming, he regrets having made this decision.

"Just, listen. You don't have to open it. You don't have to visit her grave. But I just thought you'd like to have an option."

"Well, you thought wrong." Corpse says, gritting his teeth.

"Then you don't have to go." Sykkuno says calmly.

But Corpse is still fuming. It looks like he'll burst into flames any moment.

"What made you think you had the right to go behind my back and get this fucking information about my mother?" Corpse asks, voice lower than ever.

"I just–"

"You just, what? Thought you could decide what's best for me?"

"Corpse–"

"No. You don't get to do that. You don't get to make decisions over stuff that you have no idea about!"

"Cor–"

"You don't know what she did to me. You have no fucking clue what it's like to have a dysfunctional family where all the blame is put on you! So don't fucking do what you think is best for me, because you don't know what it's fucking like! Bet you had a perfect fucking family, so don't you dare say you know what this is like!!"

Sykkuno gasps at that. Tears springing to his eyes. He crosses his arms, body going rigid. He was closing in on himself. Somewhere around this time, Corpse had realised he said something wrong.

"Maybe–" Sykkuno chokes up on his words. "Maybe take your own advice and not comment on things you know nothing about."

"Sykku–"

"I gotta go." Sykkuno says, and walks away.

He hurriedly grabs his coat, walks out the door and slams it behind him. Corpse drops the envelope and grabs his hair, tugging violently. He knew Sykkuno had some family trouble too, but he had never talked about it. He had said some stupid shit in his rage. And rage for what? He could just throw the envelope in the garbage if he was so opposed to the idea of visiting her grave. But of course, he had to throw a tantrum and drive away the one important person in his life. He tries calling Sykkuno, but he doesn't pick up. Corpse has fucked up.


	26. Chapter 26

When Corpse wakes up in the middle of the night, the first thing he wants to do is cry. Because everytime he wakes up on normal days, he's wrapped in Sykkuno's arms with his head on his chest, the heartbeat steady under his ear. Today though, after much tapping around the bed, he realises that Sykkuno never came back home.

After hours of waiting up and calling him and leaving voicemails till his inbox was full and muttering a happy fucking birthday to me, he had gone to bed hoping that he would wake up with arms full of his boyfriend.

He doesn't though.

He glances at the clock. it's 3 in the morning. There's no way Sykkuno is picking up his call at this hour, wherever he is.

So he makes the only decision that is sound to him.

~

"So, am I allowed to ask what happened or?"

Corpse doesn't answer. He probably doesn't even hear Meredith speaking besides him. He wonders if this was even the right decision to make. But he doesn't let his mind travel that way now that he has already made the decision. Instead he thinks about what he's going to do now. And when that thought gets overwhelming, he chooses to just tune it out and have a conversation with his sister.

"We can switch seats if you want. I can drive for a bit, you can rest." He offers.

"No, that's fine. A 3-hour ride isn't much for me." She shakes her head.

"Do you think I'm doing the right thing?"

Meredith looks at him sideways. "I don't know, Corpse. It's your decision."

Corpse sighs and contemplates just staying silent the entire ride but decides against it.

"Me and Sykkuno had a fight."

"Figured."

"Can you not be cocky just for once?"

"Okay, damn." Meredith widens her eyes.

"We've never really fought before. And we did today. And it was bad – really bad."

"What happened?"

"I yelled at him about how he must have a perfect relationship with his parents. I guess, he took offence in that." Corpse mutters. "I mean, I don't really know the whole deal about his parents. He's never talked about it. And if I ask, well, he dodges. He's really good at dodging questions."

"That's... yeah, that's bad." Meredith nods.

"Why, thank you." Corpse smiles sarcastically.

"Just give him some time, he'll come around. Don't bombard him with all your texts and calls and voicemails. This little time away from each other will be good for the both of you, I hope."

~

"Do you... do you want me to come with?" Meredith's voice quivers.

Maybe it's because of the early morning cold, or because she's nervous and on the verge of crying, Corpse doesn't know. He doesn't want to ask. He does get the hint that she doesn't want to come with, she's just asking for the sake of politeness. Either way, he doesn't want her to come.

"That's fine, I'll go alone." Corpse nods, brushing his sweaty hands on the back of his jeans.

"Look at the back, near the trees." Meredith's voice cracks and tears start springing in her eyes.

Her hands dart to her glove compartment to pull out a cigarette box and a lighter. Corpse scrunches his eyebrows in disdain, but Meredith sighs.

"You've got Sykkuno. I haven't got a drug like that." She smiles tearily.

So Corpse half smiles and gets out of the car with Meredith. They both slam the doors shut. And while Meredith leans on her car to take a smoke, Corpse makes his way towards the back, near the trees, just as she instructed.

He finds it much quicker than he had expected to do. And his breathing gets harsher each step he takes. He finally decides to crumble down on his knees.

"Mum." He whispers, voice choked up.

He glances at the tombstone and the writings on it. He glances at the date and realises that it had been a little over a year since her death. He had no idea.

_flowers shall wither, but your memory won't be forgotten._

Corpse wonders who wanted that line written on the tomb. He sits down on the grass cross legged. If he squints properly, he can see Meredith near the car the size of an ant.

"Um, I don't know what to say." Corpse mutters, gaze flickering between the tombstone and the space in front of it, where right below her body must lie.

"Should I say thank you for all the bad times? For leaving me broken for a lifetime? Or should I say I'm glad you're dead?" Corpse questions, hands absent mindedly picking at the grass near his feet. "Because I wouldn't mean those things. And what good will come lying to a dead person?

"Um, I guess I just wanted to get closure? I don't know how I'm going to get that since my idea of closure was always screaming in your face and leaving."

Corpse takes a deep breathe. He focuses on the rising sun instead of the grave now.

"I didn't get you any flowers. I didn't know of I should. Didn't seem necessary to me. Considering you didn't even like flowers. You threw that vase at my head, remember? Yeah."

He rubs his hands over his face and sighs.

"This is so cliché. I don't know what I'm supposed to say. I guess, I just wanted at least one time to just experience what it would be like if I was face to face with you, as an adult, when you no longer have any control over me whatsoever. I wanted you to know that I'm doing good now. That I'm happy. Around you, I'd always been miserable. But that's not what I'm like. I can be happy. I am happy. And I wanted to show you that. Not to rub it in your face, but because I wanted you to feel that guilt for not allowing me to feel this way when all along this way, I could be happy. It was because of you that your own child could not feel basic happiness. I wanted you to know that." He wipes away a tear from his eyes.

"But I'm never getting the chance to do that, am I? Why... why were you so mean to me? I really just want to know. What did I ever do so wrong to deserve the treatment you gave me?" He takes a deep breathe. "I have a boyfriend. He's the most wonderful person in this world. We're supposed to move in together pretty soon. He found us this... this beautiful apartment. We're going to have to get part time jobs to have to afford it in the long run, but it'll be worth it. We'll make do on the money that grandma left me. But yeah.

"I might have messed it up, though. He's... he's just gone. He wouldn't pick up my calls, or respond to my texts. Nothing. I'm afraid he won't come back to me, ever. Or maybe it's just my insecurities speaking. I don't know. I just don't want to lose him. But I feel like he wants nothing to do with me and–"

"I wouldn't jump to conclusions, Corpse." Meredith speaks from right behind him. She hands him his phone.

He opens it to see a text from Sykkuno.

 **Sy <3** : _don't worry about me. i'll be home by evening. we'll talk then. get some sleep please_

Corpse sighs and visibly relaxes at that. He gets up off the ground and dusts his pants. He looks at the tombstone one last time and walks away. Meredith asks for a few seconds and Corpse leaves her to it, getting back in the car, only one thing in mind.

He has to fix this.


	27. Chapter 27

"Can you just keep driving?" Sykkuno sighs.

"Why couldn't you just drive yourself?" Toast complains, obviously pissed that he had been called in the middle of the night to drive for his friend.

"I needed company, Toast. Can you stop complaining and understand for a second." Sykkuno says in a calm, firm voice but the anger behind it is easy to sense.

Toast shuts up at that. He doesn't ask Sykkuno about why he's here in the middle of the night, planning a road trip miles away with Toast.

They stay silent for most part of the trip, Sykkuno breathing deeply but harshly, looking out of the window for so long that his neck might ache from the angle. The moon is up in the sky casting a glow on Sykkuno's face, but he just looks sad. Toast wants to ask, but he refrains until the urge is just too great.

"What happened?" He sighs. "Just tell me."

"Corpse might have... said some things."Sykkuno says. He adds, "In a moment of rage."

"What things?"

"He said things about how I have it easy with my parents." Sykkuno sighs, knowing the whole angry dad speech coming from Toast already.

"What the fuck? What does he even know about you??"

"Toast, seriously. It's not that big of a deal. He didn't know. I haven't told him anything."

"No, Sykkuno. Don't you take this blame all on yourself. If you haven't talked about it, it means that you're not comfortable doing that. That doesn't give him the right to make assumptions and yell at you about it."

"I know." Sykkuno nods, tears forming in his eyes again. He stares back outside the window again.

Toast takes the hint to shut up and keeps driving.

~

"Hey." Sykkuno says when he unlocks the door and steps inside.

"Sykkuno?" Corpse shoots up from the couch he was laying down on and rushes towards the door.

He comes closer and stops right before him. Sykkuno stares back at him and they both stand there awkwardly, not knowing what to say. Corpse makes the first move and steps closer, hands hesitantly reaching out to embrace him. Sykkuno gives in with a sigh and hugs him. They stand there in each other's arms as if they hadn't seen each other in months when in reality, it had only been a day. But it was the agonising pain and exhaustion of the whole 24 hours coming back that made Corpse crumble and cry in his boyfriend's arms.

"Hey, why are you crying?" Sykkuno whispers when he pulls back, the promixity between them too fragile to be speaking loudly.

"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said that. I was just so pissed for some reason. But that's no excuse for the way I lashed out on you. I'm sorry, I'm just- I don't know. Sykkuno, I'm so sorry-" Corpse garbles.

"Hey, hey. Calm down. It's alright." Sykkuno starts rubbing his hands up and down Corpse's arms, trying to get him to stop crying.

It takes a while though, and Sykkuno starts crying in the midst of it too. He takes him to the balcony to get some fresh air and to breath more freely. They slide to the floor, Corpse resting his back against Sykkuno's chest, his body lying between Sykkuno's legs. Sykkuno rubs his palms in circular motions on his tummy in comfort and they just sit there in silence watching the sun go south.

"Corpse," Sykkuno starts with a heavy voice. "When I was a kid, my mum left. I was like 7, I think. She and my dad got married because her mother insisted. She had me because my dad wanted a baby. And she left her job to take care of me because her mother-in-law told her to. She was bound to get frustrated one day, of everyone telling her what to do. So she left."

Sykkuno chokes up. Corpse notices his hands shaking on his tummy where he was drawing circles. He intertwines their fingers together.

"Only if you're comfortable, Sy." He whispers in reassurance.

Sykkuno nods. "One day when everything got too much for her, she left. And I started making up lies about her departure. Like that one I told in high school when the bullying got a bit much, I told everyone that she was in rehab just so they would sympathise for me and leave me alone. Didn't work for the most part but at least it hid the fact that I wasn't enough to make her stay."

"Hey," Corpse turns around in his arms to wipe Sykkuno's tears away. "You know it wasn't your fault that she left, right? She was just a little... free spirited."

"Yeah, no, yeah. I know." Sykkuno nods vigorously. "She wanted to be independent. I get that."

Sykkuno breathes a little; he takes a pause to collect his thoughts together. So when he speaks next, he doesn't shed a tear.

"I went to my dad's. He's... not the nicest person in the world. Growing up with him wasn't the best, for sure. He had his highs and lows, more lows than highs but, yeah." Sykkuno shrugs. "I asked him if he has any contact with mum. He said he doesn't, and proceeded to tell at me. So I came back. Corpse, she hasn't ever tried contacting me. She doesn't want a connection with me. It wasn't just the independence that she wanted. She wanted to get rid of me, too.

Sykkuno keeps nodding, as if accepting his defeat. Corpse opens his arms and Sykkuno accepts the bear hug. He keeps him warm in his embrace in the slight evening chill out on the balcony.

"Stupid woman, that one. Who wouldn't want you." Corpse says after a while, making Sykkuno giggle.

They sit in the balcony till the stars come out. Both decide on ordering take out and stay cuddled up there on the floor. They only get up to pay the delivery guy and get beer and blankets, hitching up a small tent like thing in the balcony and cuddling inside.

When both of them lose their breathes in each other, open mouthed kisses being planted on each other's sweaty chests, grunts and moans filling up the night sky, both panting for more as they reach their climax, they know one thing for sure, neither is ever leaving the other's side.

So when Sykkuno lies on Corpse's heaving chest, drawing small figures on his skin he says, "maybe we're just two broken souls in this world that fit perfectly," Corpse kisses his lips, sealing their broken souls together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> :)


End file.
